


I only exist

by MiradaKawaii



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Boys In Love, Drugs, F/M, Flashbacks, Love Letters, Love/Hate, M/M, Mystery, Suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:48:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 24,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26186692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiradaKawaii/pseuds/MiradaKawaii
Summary: After an inexplicable accident in the park. Izaya will remain in a coma for an indeterminate time.While our informant rests between dreams, his partner, Shizuo, takes care of him from the outside. Longing for the return of the black-haired man, he decides to write letters recounting the events prior to the coma, being interrupted by various flashbacks.
Relationships: Delic/Hibiya (Durarara!!), Hachimenroppi/Tsukishima (Durarara!!), Heiwajima Shizuo/Orihara Izaya, Kishitani Shinra/Celty Sturluson, Psyche/Tsugaru (Durarara!!)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	1. Letter ... 1

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Cartas Y Shots Shizaya](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/676372) by MiradaKawaii. 



I don't know how this all started. You were so happy jumping up to me with our favorite ice cream. On your face you could only see happiness and that annoying smile that you always carry, I must admit that I had always hated that smile, it doesn't surprise you, right? However; today I would like to see her again.

Can you believe that, in that minute it took you to get to the bench, I got lost in my thoughts, in what I saw, in everything ... you probably wouldn't believe me, maybe if I have a small brain or few neurons to decide to wander in the middle of our "date". I swear I didn't last that long, I didn't even do the minute. But when I came back you were gone. I directed my attention to the last place where you were, you are an adult so I did not worry when I did not find you there.

That day Shinra had proposed a romantic outing for both of us, you have been weird all these days and I thought you would not accept SURPRISE! You accepted. Now I regret that you were done. Since I've known you, I know when you plan something bad, I know that if something unusual happens you will be the main culprit and even, knowing how strange it was that you accepted, I did not object.

You decided that we would meet in a square near the station in Shinjukun since in Ikebukuro we are known for our characteristic mutual hatred, in addition to having a large line of thugs and gang members behind as if to walk calmly.

Some people whispered things, surely they saw us on television; Because of the live broadcast that we interrupted my brother, I think it was about interviewing couples, what if they had interviewed us as a joke? Sure and they were won a large number of viewers. As I said, me and surely your equal; we tried to ignore those people. Everything seemed fine. Until you challenged me to run, of course you cheated and got ahead of me so I tried to follow in your footsteps, I reached a point where I couldn't hold my legs and I sat on one of the park benches. You had not lost energy, you begged to keep running (and for that reason you proudly deserve the nickname of flea) but I refused, I was exhausted.

after a few minutes I saw your bored face unlike me who enjoy serenity, you are more active always busy. I could hear a melody, the same one that attracted your attention to the ice cream cart.

_You looked at me, I looked at you._

And so you left. You ran in the direction of the cart. A few seconds that I wasn't paying attention to you, you were gone.


	2. Izayaaaaaaaa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot is going to focus on a series of letters and one shot or memories, before Izaya falls into a coma. In order to deepen the relationship between the two rivals and the reason for everything.
> 
> This would be considered one of them

**Tuesday. 10:22 a.m.**

Who would say that in the streets of Ikebukuro you will hear the screams of a blonde calling desperately for his rival, anyone would say it, rather they would be used to it but this time it was different, the named one, he was not bothering his seeker, not even before to be wanted, as usual. Then, doubt was planted. What was wrong with the Ikebukuro beast?

People murmured, some hid or avoided being near a traffic sign, garbage can, vending machine, in short, any object that could be used as a weapon by the beast. But nothing happened. Eager for action, they look up at the sky, spin around each other but nothing from the informant.

_What was wrong with the Ikebukuro beast?_

To find out we will have to go back in time, specifically 5 hours and 11 minutes ...

**06:11 a.m**

Shizuo had been awakened by the ringing of his cell phone. Today he had the day off, so he was thinking of spending it asleep, unfortunately he forgot to put his cell phone in airplane mode, why would he do that? Easy, they know their partner. Besides teasing him every time he sees him regardless of whether he was working, he also deigned to annoy him on his days off.

Without intending to read the messages that woke him up, he immediately went to put his cell phone in airplane mode, which would be so important anyway. Surely they were pure messages with his name in search of that, irritated, he will come to answer so that the flea apologizes with a how are you? He threw the mobile next to the furniture next to his bed and continued his nap.

Already when he was catching the dream, he hears screams coming from the entrance. Shizuo does not pay due attention to him, but he knew that with that scandal he would not be able to regain sleep. Already resigned to his hours of sleep. Listen, what would be the last reply of the day a "Die" and finally peace, that would say if the voice was distinguished, it was Izaya!

He ran to open the door, he did not care that they saw him in his underwear, he had already been exposed to the minor on other occasions. When he opened it, he saw that no one was there but he could swear with his soul that those screams and that last dialogue were from the flea.

He closed the door and went to his room. I'm looking for clothes. And, before leaving, take his cell phone, perhaps they would give him some clue as to where he could have gone. I had ten messages pending and twenty missed calls; all from Izaya.

  1. Flea: Shizu-cha I think I'll go visit you. I went to deliver a report to Shiki this morning and as I was arriving at the apartment I realized that I had the keys. It's not like I don't have three more but ... taking advantage, what if I pay my beast a visit?
  2. Flea: Beast I'm at your door ...
  3. Flea: Heiwajima Shizuo, I'm serious; you see i'm serious I put all your name. > :(
  4. Flea: SHIZUO I KNOW YOU'RE NOT AT WORK BECAUSE I GOT THAT BLONDE AND TOLD ME YOU HAD A DAY OFF TODAY.
  5. Flea: I don't understand why you didn't answer my calls. You could open that damn door and let me in.
  6. Flea: Shizuo I already know you're in, I can hear your stupid snoring> :(> :(
  7. Flea: Okay, ignore me. ; -;))
  8. Flea: I'll go hook up with Dotachi to see if you like him
  9. Flea: Hahhaah ... you keep ignoring me. You'll see that Dotachi was not a joke
  10. Flea: Bastard!!!



Shizuo was stumped by each message. Not counting his, now discovered, jealousy for Dotachi. He never imagine him as a possible rival. kadota was a good classmate in high school, with both of them, he was like an extra in their world, a good guy. Oh Izaya, Izaya, IZAYA! He would seriously try to ruin poor Kadota who was not guilty, he trusts Kadota, and knows that he would never betray him, would he?

He took his last box of cigarettes and left. He would try to call him on the way. He tried countless times, but each time the answering machine dropped. The cigarette box had run out in record time and how could it not run out? if the fury did not reach even half. He had to quench his anger in another way, and so he began to hit every traffic sign that he will come across, every trash can. His footsteps alerted to leaving dents in the pavement. This was the beast that Izaya had so longed to display.

_who would say that a warning of infidelity would reveal the beast before us._

The consecutive answering machine began to screw up his patience, it got to the point that he ended up breaking the only cell phone he had to communicate because, even if he was paired with the great Orihara Izaya it did not mean that he would enjoy the same privileges; barely reaching the rent of his home, his phone was a gift from his brother when he began his path to fame. He had done something wrong, he always repeated it to himself when he watched those slutty shows who married old millionaires.

For having broken his cell phone, he was forced to the task of shouting the name of the informant like those times he used to yell at him in their morning meetings.

In that he senses the scent of his flea. It goes directly to where that smell came from. Upon arrival he saw a lonely Izaya. Shizuo felt uncomfortable, he thought that when he succeeded he would be kissing with kadota or accompanying him if he was lucky but no, he was just there.

The blond approached him slowly thinking that he had not seen him. As soon as he was close enough he noticed, if he knew he was there he had only resigned himself to talking to him until he faced him.

"Shizu-cha, what are you doing here? I thought you were ignoring me" was the only thing he resigned to say. Shizuo could almost swear to have seen how a tear fell and was lost between his chin "I want you to answer me!"

Shizuo was at a loss for words, he didn't know how something as insignificant as not replying to the messages could lead him to such extremes. He came over and hugged him planting a sweet kiss on his forehead. Izaya snuggled into his chest. He wasn't really mad at the beast but at himself, but it was easier for him to blame others.

"I Love you, Izaya"

Those words didn't make him feel any better, he was a shitty person who didn't deserve the love he was offering him. But he's a good liar, good enough to tell you ...

"Love you too, Shizu-cha..."


	3. Letter... 2

_Where were you? I don't know._

_Where did you go ? I don't know either._

More and more people passed by, more and more people blocked my gaze. I got up worried, and who wouldn't. When I was finally able to break through I saw you lying on the ground. They all surrounded you. I had not me, clumsy beast. People did nothing in all this time that I lost you, they were invasive enough to take photos but nobody was brave enough to approach. And I, I ... I didn't do anything.

I coincided with Celty's motorcycle. I held you in my arms. You had always asked me to carry you, obviously I refused, who would say that the first time I fulfilled that request of yours you would be unconscious. I didn't want to see you like that, although before I wished for your death, I never imagined it. I never expected her ... I thought you were indestructible, that psychopath who dared to interact with the strongest man in Ikebukuro. It probably never was. Suicide? Did you want me to be the one to blame for your death.

Thinking about it that way ... I was the one who created the obstacles so as not to hurt you too much. But you were the one running away and moving the stage, which would mean that I had nothing to do with us being stopped at every opportunity. We fought in the streets where our friends were frequenting. Your way of showing that I'm a beast? Who knows.

People continued to see me, others continued with their phones in hand, those who did not know they were worthy of approaching and asking, to which they were answered with "visited Ikebukuro".

Celty is parked; not far from us. She saw me, worried, showed me her cell phone. He threw me on his motorcycle and impatiently asked him to take us to Shinra. Before you ask, she knows, maybe you already know, I'll tell you anyway. Celty has been my partner in recent years, I am not talking about high school but about ... those who tell each other things, I am the one who tells, she only listens but it is all I need. We know that the two of us have not been completely honest with each other, we are obviously rivals that they are not, but when you wake up we will try to make this work, and I will stop going to her.

We got to where Shinra. Your body was cold. Celty with her shadows I create a blanket for you, I know she doesn't like you, I know you have her head because she told me so but I could try not to have more enemies than you already have. If you continue, you won't give me any other options than to have to run away with you, and I don't want that.

Shinra asked me to put you in one of his rooms. After that I asked a series of confusing questions. I told him what happened in detail, he had no reason to lie. He asked me to give him a moment and call his "helper." I did. I went out to your balcony and wait.

You know, I went to get a cigarette in my pocket and guess what happened. It happens that a certain flea took them away from me, remember when you told me that those things damage my lungs.


	4. This environment is 100% smoke free

Shizuo had stayed since yesterday in Izaya's apartment after he went to visit her work, although that visit was more of a plan of attack against the Russian, this due to the knife she threw every time she was He brought him closer to his beast, which Shizuo luckily helped dodge before a crime scene was committed.

Later he would have a curry meeting at Celty and Shinra's house, which he had forgotten until now while making breakfast. He had a big problem, how would he go to the party with Izaya? Of course, the problem was not how to go to the party, I could invite Izaya but it was known, they would end up destroying Shinra's house.

When we finished preparing breakfast, they were toast. He served them on a plate for the informant who was actively involved in the dollar group, enthusiastic enough to have a conversation with himself. This one didn't pay much attention to it. He turned on the television and tuned in to one of his brother's shows; a new series of a vampire who hunts vampires.

What Shizuo didn't know was in the chat, Setton (Celty) made the slight mention of their curry meeting, something like he would invite everyone he knew, apparently that included the best of Ikebukuro. Everyone in the group will make a surprised face when they say it and immediately send another message that should indicate "What a coincidence I will also go to a meeting with curry".

Izaya considered for a moment "Then the beast will have a party and I'm not invited to it ...". He said goodbye to both profiles and went to where the blonde found himself.

"Shizu-cha... are you hiding something from me?"

"Ah?" It was the only thing he could articulate, he had not understood the strange approach of the flea. It took a few seconds for his memory to CLICK! and remembering the meeting this afternoon, later I will go to Shinra's house...

"Interesting" Izaya replied, without revealing his latent feeling of rejection. He wondered why I didn't invite him? Obviously he would refuse but he wanted the brute Shizuo to try to insist, just like Shinra, Kadota or their sisters did before he understood that that kind of closeness was uncomfortable.

Shizuo tried, he had never seen Izaya participate in one of those meetings, it is probably his fault but it could also vary between inviting him and inviting Izaya. That's when he came to his senses, his concern was not required during fights, in part it was because of the adversity that all the other guests had against the black-haired man, if that was it.

He tried to avoid the subject, ignore it but he couldn't.

_What would be the worst that could happen?_

"Flea... I know you don't like these things but I wouldn't want to be alone. And Shinra is going to have to put up with the disasters my flea makes."

"Wait... how do you know I don't like them?"

"The thing is, I know my flea very well, I think you might really like it, only since you haven't been invited, you don't know what it is like."

**Sunday, 5:00 p.m.**

They finished getting ready. Shizuo chose something simple, that is, his former bartender outfit. Izaya on the contrary, although it did not vary much between his outfits, he decided to leave the jacket at home. That change was a bit surprising for the blonde, he was not used to seeing him on the street without his characteristic jacket. This was the first time he had dated without arguing. Izaya was not at all compatible with Shizuo who walked slowly, he wanted to run, jump and sneak away but they had agreed to be "normal". Of course, doing the odd mischief didn't hurt, according to the black-haired man.

"Stop bothering, flea" He complained the older taking the cigarette from his pocket.

Izaya walked over quickly and put her hand on the cigarette and then tossed it to the ground and crushed it. Shizuo got angry. He took it by the shirt and lifted it a few inches off the ground.

"You shouldn't smoke. That causes lung cancer, I don't know about you but I don't want my lungs to get damaged because of you" he clarified to escape with a kiss on the cheek. Shizuo identified the gazes of everyone who passed by, it was uncomfortable being Izaya Orihara's partner.

"FLEA" He yelled and then started chasing him. It bothered him when he wanted to pretend to be smart.

Shinra's house was almost full by now and all the guests present were at their places for dinner. Some were chatting, others were looking to help. A nice dinner with friends. Until footsteps and laughter were heard, footsteps that everyone could distinguish, an unforgettable laugh and a bell followed. Celty was the one who attended, running into the odd couple. She invited Izaya to move away from their posts, as he led Shizuo into one of the rooms.

She took out his cell phone and quickly began to type: _Shizuo, are you sure of what you're doing, why did you invite him? _

"Don't worry I'll control it..." he replied placing one of his hands on the dullahan's shoulder trying to cry out.

_Are you sure?_

"I DON'T KNOW, YES! I HAVE NO IDEA" he concluded slamming the door behind him. As he went to the living room, he reached into his pocket for the cigarette cartridge, took one out and lit it to calm himself.

She entered the room and saw everyone. A caregiver was felt watching over a dog that had a tick attached to it.

Varona spoke with Tom-san, Shinra called them telling everyone that the curry was going to be there, Erika sang with Kadota and Walker, there was also a girl with glasses, some students from the same institute in the years ago studied and the flea was supported at the window with his cell phone in his hand separated from the others.

He greeted everyone and went to his flea. He let out a large amount of smoke from his mouth from the cigar. Izaya turned around and saw his beast smoking. He took, as before, the cigar from his mouth, he threw it to the ground, crushing it.

"You are a stupid beast, I told you about smoking! I don't want to have a boyfriend with lungs turned shit" Izaya yelled looking furiously at the beast who was red from the aforementioned boyfriends.

Erika cried out excitedly collapsing from a nosebleed. Kadota took it loaded and went out so that the poor thing could take a breath. The others were more than uncomfortable. Shinra and Celty didn't know whether to get in the way of the couple or let it all be sorted out by the two of them anyway. Shizuo was the one who invited Izaya. Among so many doubts, no one could prevent Izaya on an impulse from taking the cartridge and throwing it out the window. The blond was already in his last, and his face instead of being red from embarrassment was red from fury.

"YOU'RE ONE !! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU" he yelled and then scampered all over the house to the flea. Izaya knew what was wrong but he would not apologize. He had already seen many documentaries about it that left him restless. He ran into Shinra's room and locked it.

Shizuo had already cornered Izaya. If he didn't break it, it was because he still had respect for Shinra and because he had promised not to break anything.

"IZAYAAA-KUN, OPEN THE DOOR" he threatened, hitting harder and harder. But when he stopped hearing no response, he had time to calm down and listen to the people in the room complaining about the black-haired presence. "Stupid, you're stupid" Shizuo repeats himself, he didn't want that night to end this way.

"Etto... Izaya you can come out, I won't hit you alone... you know how I am I didn't think."

He placed his ear against the door and heard a barely audible voice.

"Shizuo" A current runs through the body, very rarely did I call him by his name "I don't want you to continue smoking, that hurts you. Not that I care but I don't want to end up alone."

"I'm not going to die for that. Izaya, I'm almost indestructible" he replied laughing a little.

"Haha ... I already know that, but a disease is not the same as being stabbed, shot or hit, it kills you inside."

With his ear still against the wood, he sighed in affirmation. The words of his partner were true, when he got sick it was terrible, not like when he stabbed him, when he got seriously ill, specifically that he was going to die.

He got even more attached to the door and proposed: "What if you get out of there and go with the others?"

He removed the safety. He opened the door uncertainly. He looked at the beast. And asked.

"Will you promise me that you will always be by my side?"

"To love you and respect you" he whispered looking between the short separation her boyfriend had left.

"Hmm ... in health and disease" continued the shorter one, opening the door.

"In wealth and poverty."

"You know that I am the rich man," Izaya clarified, approaching his beast.

"How to forget it..."

"I continue... until death do us part..."

"I accept" they said to the uisono to end with a big kiss, hugging in the middle of the hall while everyone else wondered how this would affect Ikebukuro.


	5. Letter ... 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anemia: Low number of red blood cells in the blood  
> Leukemia: Cancer in the blood

It's been about two hours since we got to Shinra's house.

For some reason they both hadn't left the room since they asked me to leave them for a moment, a moment of two hours twenty minutes and ten, fifteen, twenty seconds and on. I had to stop before the anger and uncertainty took hold of me.

I could keep looking at the clock or watch television. Watch the news channel. I just pressed the power button to collide with a recording of the accident a few hours ago: you were, already on the ground, after a while of whispering I arrived. What a device! I had captured my fear perfectly until I was interrupted by my own action when carrying you, the person who was filming sure wanted to continue with the act but was interrupted or so it seemed since the image ended up on his feet.

This reminded me of the other time you were attacked. You told me that you expected me or someone else to kill you, it wasn't me since I was with Tom-san from very early and I didn't have time to coincide with the news like right now. You told me it was a girl you haven't seen for a long time, she was one of your victims who survived. I wonder if this time they will also be looking for you to assassinate you in this state, I don't think so this time they didn't say where you were, really no one but Shinra, Celty and I know where you are.

This letter is supposed to be good for when you wake up, in case it's not soon. I'm also writing it to give you an idea of why I'm going to be so strict about your diet when you wake up, meanwhile we give you medicine.

When Shinra left the room the first thing he did was vaguely explain what you had. He told me that you had anemia, the closest thing to suffering from leukemia, he also hinted at some kind of drug or product that you ingested which caused the detonation of everything. I would like to be exact but he was not either, I AM NOT DARK, Shinra is not sure of your condition; You need better machines to give a more accurate result of your condition but we cannot take you to a hospital.

I can only trust Shinra and believe that everything will be fine when your hemoglobin rises.

After informing me of your health they let me in. You were in bed connected to a tube that gave you IV. The image was unpleasant, as you went from wanting to run through the city to a vegetable state.

_Sorry for the moisture marks on the sheet, it's unintentional..._

Why didn't you tell me that you weren't feeding properly? Did you know you were anemic?

I know you won't answer me right now, but I can't understand it.


	6. Stupid Stupid Shinra

The days passed in Ikebukuro. Izaya had not left his apartment for a year, which worried the blond and those who were once involved with the informant.

"Damn Shinra, if it wasn't for you ..." muttered the bartender, walking away from the flea department. He was sorry he hadn't realized earlier how uncomfortable that day had been for him. All because of stupid Shinra.

"And for that, guys, I have invited you to my humble home. I have to introduce myself to your alternate egos" Shinra concluded, unable to contain the excitement of showing his experiments with the DNA of the toughest subjects in Ikebukuro.

"Alternates?" Shizuo repeated for the third time.

"Otherwise, they are like their identical copies with the difference that each one of them has taken a characteristic residue of their personality and molded it as their own. Even though they are the same, they have an identity and ideals different from their neighbor, facilitating the distinction between one and the other "he explained trying to be as simple as possible to his previous explanations.

"Shinra ... I still don't understand."

"Do not bother to explain, it is obvious that he will not understand" interrupts Izaya married to hear the same "What are you waiting for? Open the doors to this new artificial intelligence" he yelled pointing with his hand extended to the computer waiting for what never came .

"Fineeee...?" Shinra replied, looking away from the raven at the front door. The doorbell bell rang. Shinra answered with a jump to go to the hall, leaving his main guests disoriented.

Shinra was still talking to the outsiders as spirited as ever, he was not a surprise guest due to the anxious gaze of the one with glasses who did not move away from the front door. Izaya wondered who could it be? A scientist affiliated with all this madness? The technician for programming? Some foreigner to make a hologram just like Miku's? I wouldn't know how to say it, what if I had been stupid a few seconds ago.

"Guys, these are the alter egos I had been talking about: he is Psyche" he pointed out to the minor, he was identical to Izaya except for the clothes with their lighter intonations and very pink "and to his left Tsugaru". The blonde looked at them, boy, the room was out of tune with his traditional style.

Shinra, having no reaction from either of the couples, chooses to approach the alter: "Guys, they are Izaya and Shizuo, the ones I was talking about last time," he clarified in order to put them in the mood. They both nodded and made contact.

"Izaya-san, Shizuo-kun. As you may have heard, my name is Tsugaru, nice to see" the blonde introduced himself in a polite way ending with a slight but charming smile which Izaya could swear that his beast did not possess.

They both reciprocated the greeting and turned their attention to little Psyche.

"Hee! Tsugaru would you give me chocolate" Psyche asked completely ignoring the two rivals.

"Psyche, we are in someone else's house try to behave" Tsugaru scolded him.

Psyche tried to claim, but immediately regretted it upon noticing Tsugaru's dark gaze. He returned his gaze to the two boys standing in front of them, it was not the first time he had seen a subject who shared his appearance, he had already met two of them. Izaya wasn't much of a thing to spend his time with, or that's what he thought until he realized how Tsugaru was looking at the boy with such expressiveness in his eyes.

Tsugaru had never looked at the others with that look...

He delicately leads his steps to Izaya. His back reaches out and wraps him around.

"Don't even think about putting eyes on Tsugaru" he whispers letting his warm breath collide with the black-haired's neck.

"I-I just met him" Izaya replied, unable to avoid the trembling in his words as he felt a shiver run through his body.

Immediately Psyche changes her current position, without raising any suspicions, she joins her body conspicuously to Izaya's, looking at the boys in a playful way, exclaims: "Look Tsugaru, we are twins! (^ V ^)"

And so the conversation continued between the three present except for Izaya who decided to question Shinra. Until the bell rings again, giving him the best way out to get away from the informant.

"It must be them" Shouts Shinra going back to the entrance. When he returned he brought two others who were very similar.

The first to pass was a blond boy with colors the same as Tsuagaru's and next to him another Izaya, unlike the first two (Izaya and Psyche) this one seems to have taken his suit from a costume store due to the cape and the crown of prince.

"Ok, I think I have presented them a little messy. Here I clarify". Shinra passed when seeing the faces of the rivals "my first test with their DNA was PsycheDelic being the first project to be correctly carried out Psyche01 following Delic02."

"Supposedly ... why didn't you get your fill with the two of them?"

"They were more like a goal of their own, I wanted to prove that by joining the correct indices I could put an uncommon or almost non-existent expression as dominant in you being Tsugaru the result of it."

Izaya angrily goes to Shinra, not caring how rude he might be: "You know how illegal it is to do an experiment with the DNA of a person which has not given you the right to use it at your convenience, you had even passed wondering through my head? It doesn't matter because of the beast, they don't even understand where he's standing but and .. "

"But who is this beauty ..." interrupted the boy in the pink suit holding Izaya's hand sweetly. My name is Delic, at your service.

Izaya chose to olympically ignore the romeo who offered himself in front of him, that was not Shizuo, none of them even reached the heels of what his beast is. He released his hand from the grip, which luckily was not deep, and turned his way until he was next to the real Shizuo.

"No one had told me that Psyche would be here" reproached the little prince, making himself known "Delic, find a good place for my steed, he must be suffocated from the poor state of the attempted cozy home that this building is."

"At one point Hibiya" he replied the aforementioned approaching Izaya "Hey why are you hiding ... Ouch" he groans in pain as he receives a blow to the entire head from the bartender.

"Delic" he called, unconsciously avoiding a fit of jealousy between the two blondes "don't flirt with the mob."

"Ah? So, are you telling me to just flirt with you"

Psyche could no longer remain a mere spectator, thus deciding to join in the fight, catching Hibiya's shoulders, leading him to the sofa, where he remained accommodated next to Tsugaru.

"If you want you can stay with me and Tsugaru, he would be a better servant than Delic" he offered knowing that his "brother" would resist such an idea of being separated from his prince, if not he would never bet his stay with Tsugaru. And just as Delic guessed, she reacted by pulling Hibiya's arm, drawing him to her protective arms.

"And if we better go back to the castle and I make you that chocolate with marshmallow that you asked me so much in the morning" he suggested almost begging. Hibiya reacted by blushing.

On the other side were Izaya and Shizuo. Although the conversation was not about the altereg, it was impossible for Shizuo not to mention them and how to avoid them if he was only one step away from them.

"They seem like good guys, don't they?" he pointed in a low tone.

"What are you talking about? This is wrong ..." Izaya sighed trying to find the best way to express his feelings in words.

"Flea..."

"Come on, everyone, the last altereg on the list have just arrived" Shinra called without receiving a reaction from any of those present in the room, probably because they had already been summoned to one of these meetings before.

"Eeeeh ... H-hi how are you?" A blonde in a scarf passes by sadly holding hands by... Izaya or an almost exact copy of Izaya. The boy looks around trying to hide his shame between that whitish fabric that covered his neck, he did not feel comfortable with his copies but something suddenly changes when he sees some clones which Shinra had described as the real Izaya and Shizuo. He hastens his step until he is in front of both boys and introduces himself:

"My name is Tsukishima but you can call me Tsuki. Sorry for the delay" he greeted bowing which made him notice his companion, this was a bit funny to Shizuo since, since they entered, he had not released the hand of the minor "Oh! and this is Roppi, he doesn't like people very much, please don't bother him."

Shizuo was looking forward to Izaya interrupting him and saying something like -you don't have to worry he's a beast- however nothing happened.

_Nice to mee...

"Tsuki!!" shouted Psyche jumping off the couch.

"Good Tsuki, do you bring candy?" Hibiya asked as they just crossed the door frame, apparently they already found a place for the horse.

"Yeah!! "Tsuki stated searching his pockets without letting go of Roppi's hand.

It seemed that all the attention went to the candy boy, innocent boy who gives sweets, ironic. Tsugaru, even if he was ignored, did not affect him as much as Delic, and he had to get used to Psyche's playful personality or he would never leave the house. Finished sighing looking through the suit for his kiseru, he had forgotten it at home, he concluded not finding it in any of the folds, leaving him as a last alternative to ask Delic for a cigarette.

"Flea, if you want you can take a breath" suggested Shizuo seeing how the boys positioned themselves not far from the black-haired man. Unanswered.

Hours passed and the sun threatened to hide between the buildings. Tsugaru and Delic got to the point where they were forced to visit the nearest kiosk to compare another pack of cigarettes, luckily for the horrible temptation Shizuo carried, this time they decided to smoke outside with the horse. Psyche along with Hibiya and Tsuki played the paper airplanes that Tsuki made for them with the medical magazines of the illegal doctor. Roppi preferred to get away from the three boys for a while and go to one of the unoccupied rooms, muttering between groans -I hate humans-

Once it was twelve o'clock at night, everyone decided it was time to go. Together they went down the elevator (except Delic who was with the horse). When they were in front of the exit, each one said goodbye, going their different ways. Shizuo was accompanying Izaya who hadn't said any of his comments all afternoon. However, none dared to bring up the subject. Once they were in front of the minor's building, it was that he decided to speak.

"Do you want me to stay with you tonight?" he asked looking at the door.

"Shizu... I want to, I would like to be alone for a few days. Could you..." he asked, cutting himself off in mid-sentence. He nodded fearfully remembering Tsukisima's slight comment about Roppi and her suicidal side.

A year has passed since that day. Izaya had not left the apartment since that time, or so Shizuo assures. The boy was angry, angry at Shinra, angry at the copies, angry.

_Had to get rid of them._

_But how?_

To find out, he was forced to investigate hundreds and hundreds of articles and pages on the subject, but none were realistic. He conclude that being a by-product of him, their lives depended on his care, if he died they must die with him ... if he did not eat they would starve with him, they would die before him.

He look at the cell phone. It was Shinra.

"Oi Izaya, have you fed well?"

"Yeah" He lied.

"The altereg came yesterday, they informed me that they had difficulties feeding, imagine it was due to some condition but if you are well I can rule it out, I probably made a mistake in the lineage ..." he murmured from the other line.

_Oh! Little useless Shinra you couldn't have called at a better time._

Things continued as they were, perhaps stopping eating was not a very feasible solution when the mad genius was none other than Shinra.

"Food supplements? Music as an alternative? You're a genius S-H-I-N-R-A"

_Stupid Shinra and his strange methods to help those freaks._


	7. Letter ... 4

AAAAAAAAAH!!

But what a beautiful morning, you cannot see it but believe me it is beautiful and even more so if you are received by one of the sun's rays on your entire face.

**Whole damn face**

Yesterday I slept in one of the chairs in the room where you are, not at all comfortable. Normally sleeping with an improper posture would cause nightmares, in my case it was the opposite. I dreamed of that day, the day that you and I became one, I know, I'm a pervert for thinking about that.

Sometimes I wonder if that time I learned about my feelings beyond hatred was the right day, time or place. I do not know.

Why not faster upgrades? I know that only one day has passed since then, surprise wrote the previous letters in an afternoon and part of the night, I am an exaggeration I know but I did not know that these things of being unconscious lasted so long. I hope you feel like reading once you wake up because it forces you to finish each of these papers.

Shinra gave me some sheets and pencils to draw and that, what a thing. Before starting the first letter, this page was an airplane, a plane that traveled from the window to the sky and was returned because, apparently, throwing planes is a way to litter the streets, then it was a portrait or whatever it may seem, total hope you like it.

Because of the plane, an officer went up to leave a fine for Shinra. His face was seen trying to excuse himself, of course he scold me, but without having been, I was not writing and the city was full of airplanes.

Writing is the most annoying activity I could have invented but, after some mental blocks, it has become my hobby. And just so you know if I can write >:( just because I work as a debt collector's bodyguard doesn't mean I only live by my strength. I also read, write and so on productive for... the brain?

Remember that book you have "Enoch", I did not know that you were religious, although it is very fanciful to be part of the bible. I read it. Although it is not the type of story I usually read, which is no home, it was the most "normal" among the psychology catalog, survivor, kidnapping, legends... your tastes are chilling.

Whenever I look at that shelf, it occurs to me to compare you more books, passing books that don't have as many turns as those you own. Of course... if the books have forged what you are now, perhaps those of werewolves and giants made you accept me are not so creepy, I am your beast.


	8. The day, the time and the place

It was the same morning as every beginning of the week, the people went to work and the students to the institute, but when night came the streets were dominated by gangsters. The city will be seen with yellow handkerchiefs, the dollars, the fake ones that have been passed by members of some group, those controlled by Saika, the maddened fans and reporters of some pop idol, ordinary people and, as expected, Shizuo Heiwajima finishing his work

He was exhausted, he had asked to work overtime due to his lack of action at night waiting in the morning to return to work. Occasionally you will be asked to ask for a day off and go for a walk but those deep walks always end badly, will you wonder why? Well, they were interrupted by the unexpected visits that a black-haired man offered him every time the beast of Ikebukuro interrupted but that night it was not like that.

inhale and exhale, releasing the warm cigarette smoke. He walked without reason torturing his already tired body.

-Should I go where Shinra?- He thought being quickly interrupted by his imagination and the possibility of showing an untentative scenario, specifically in the middle of an operation or further ruining his late-night opportunities with Celty.

-I should go with Kasuka I haven't seen him for a long time- he had as a second option but just like the first one this one brought against them. Kasuka was no longer her little brother with whom she could indulge in going to the facilities to spend time together. As you know Kasuka had already had his acting career and most of the time he had been busy; which made Shizuo sad.

-And if I spend time with Simon- he immediately refused, surely when Simon entered he could fill him with pure Russian sushi and, although he wanted to try some food, the money was not enough and what would he say later...

-Go talk to Celty- doesn't interfere with your first choice.

He had to resort to his last option...

-Be with I-za-ya-kun ~- just thinking about it made her blood boil. Izaya is always in the streets looking for a fight with Shizuo or that is what he believed, it is as if his existence was a punishment sent from hell like a parasite.

If not for him, why else would the flea come to Ikebukuro? his only purpose in life was to annoy the blonde, how clumsy and closed is Shizuo, the great informant is not there just because his beast also usually walks through those streets, no. Izaya was up for something even greater, something that put everyone's life at risk. Shizuo was just a glitch, an exit piece from the board which he had to eliminate, impossible to discover his movements, but that Shizuo didn't know, he didn't know that he could change all of Izaya's planes ... but does he know how to use it? Shizuo would know how to change everything, how to ruin Izaya's plans with his sudden actions, who knows?

He not .

The sky was increasingly clear, no stars, just the bright full moon. Shizuo was still wandering through the streets of careful looking at the full moon. He stopped under a tree, near a desolate park. The cigarettes had finished but the icy air made little clouds of his breath.

It was freezing but there was no intention of moving from there. Until he heard the sweet melody followed by a well-known laugh, he instantly smelled hot coffee and, some caramel smell, tasted fragrances from the same place where he heard the short, crisp tune earlier. He approached, received, the smell but stopped when he received another aroma, this was not at all appetizing rather he disliked that aroma, the aroma of Izaya Orihara.

He froze, moving his head in different directions looking for the dark hair. He was on a swing finishing what was probably the hot coffee he had previously sipped. He hid behind a tree; big enough to hide your body.

"What am I doing?" He said "BUT WHAT DOES I CARE WHAT HE DOES?"

Suddenly Izaya's phone rang, he looked both ways. Shizuo quickly finished putting his whole body into the tree praying he hadn't been seen, he was in luck. He took the phone out of his vest pocket and answered.

"How are you? I thought you would regret it."

He waited a moment and spoke again.

"Of course I'm close. I wouldn't break my promise."

A smile spread across Izaya's face.

"Do you remember that I asked you if you wanted to die with me ... let's die together."

"Hahahaha ... I'll go, I'll go, just let me finish some business, wait for me on the terrace."

**"Let's die together"**

The great informant wanted to die, his greatest enemy was going to commit suicide. He didn't know what to feel, a dirty or acquaintance had never witnessed someone who was so exposed as to want to commit suicide, it was a miracle and if it is because it did not seem like such.

_-What will flea do before? -_

Izaya will see himself from the swing, drop the candy box and continue his walk leaving the park. It was time to use his spy skills, something that should have served as well as stealing the sugar bag from the kitchen as a child or times when he tried to scare Kasuka, he was never surprised... that's not very good.

They ended up in a dead end. Izaya before entering, keeps some photographs in his pocket, impossible to see in the distance they were. He continued until he stopped next to a hooded man.

"Do you already have everything?", Asked the man trying to hide his face. Izaya hands him the images. This horrified man hides them in his back pocket.

"I'm surprised how you can do these things, you're excellent" he announced and then handed her a bale of bills "Now we just need to get rid of the descendant."

"Don't worry, I already have it covered" and so Izaya leaves the alley.

_-If the flea is going to commit suicide, why does it need so much money? -_

He waited in the other one, he was not going to cross or forced into that alley. Once the brunette had left the dark hole, he continued his stalking. Term in a cafeteria. Sitting at the end of it where the light flickered. At the table he was accompanied by a short-haired woman with passion red lips, wearing a black dress as a prostitute. Izaya sat across from her and ordered two iced teas.

"Let's start Izaya-san, how can you prove that my husband only came back because of my grandfather's inheritance and not because he actually loves me?" She ask.

Izaya gave a macabre smile and from his pocket took one of the previous photos. It was her, the woman who was sitting right now was dead in the image, her body faithfully depended on a rope to stay straight or she would fall into the void of the dark room.

"He himself asked me to kill you or to force you to suicide. For your information I do not dedicate myself to it but it was impossible for me to refuse."

The woman laughed nervously, the hand that held the photo shaking. "Why didn't you? It's because I'm your best customer right! You couldn't let me down."

"I have already told you: I am not dedicated to murder. However, I could have recommended other services than if they would, but I did not do it because you hired me first."

"Are you saying that if I had not doubted my husband ... he would be murdered by you?

"NO! NO! FAIL! Wrong answer. I'm not bad enough to kill a person, but I'm not good enough to stop someone who wants to die, maybe I'll show you how horrible your life is until you you will commit suicide "he explained in a playful way as if he had already said the same thing hundreds of times before.

"H-How did you get this picture? It looks so real."

"I have contacts. Now I recommend you get a good lawyer and sue him, I assure you that you will have greater profits this way than with divorce. Of course, if you are still alive."

The woman remained silent at the suggestion of the informant, handed him an envelope of money and left without further ado. Just then the waiter arrived with his drinks, Izaya took his tea and started drinking while counting the money.

_-What kind of life does this guy lead? -_

The persecution resumes again. The informant leaves the cafeteria and goes to a little-traveled area in front of an abandoned factory.

Shizuo waited for him to go up the elevator and if he remembered correctly he had to go to the top floor of the terrace. Izaya could not disappear from his life, he had imagined it a thousand times, but now, now he could not. Why the rush? I wanted so much to see him die.

_Did he really want that?_

He heard the elevator ring as it always does each time it reaches its destination. Shizuo sped up his pace more, he couldn't say but he had the need to do something.

Izaya opens the front door that led to the terrace. In front of him a teenager of about 16 years old was waiting for him. The girl heard how the worn door squeaked when it opened, expectant let her blue gaze travel from the moon to the brunette who received her with an expectant smile. She reciprocated.

"Kanra, is it you?" She asked excitedly. Oh! Such a beautiful girl ... if only she wasn't going to die.

"Of course Sophia, it's me. Are you ready?"

Izaya passed in front of the girl to the end of that complex, so high. He offered her his hand, without fear.

"Do you want to die just like me?" She asked again, corresponding to his step.

"Not"

"What do you mean by NOT? We were both going to die together."

"Not really, I just said it so you could give your insistent moans a purpose, because you're here you just have to jump."

"Yeah b-but ..." Sophia couldn't find the right words but it wasn't necessary since the door passed overhead was much more important.

Izaya also did not know how to react to the disruption. The plant was not to be demolished for up to two years. It was not necessary to analyze it much, a blonde hair gave enough answer to all incognito.

"I-za-ya-kun ~" And he followed her scream.

-What is Shizu-cha's protozo doing here? -

"Who is Izaya? He is Kanra" The girl interposed, facing the beast of Ikebukuro.

"This is Izaya" he growled before pushing the girl out of his way.

Izaya had forgotten that he was very close to falling, to the point that when he tried to flee, he ended up falling. Everything happened so fast. The girl had started crying as she called out to him by his alias. He had already fallen to worse heights fighting Shizuo, however this time he was not prepared. And suddenly it stopped falling.

"Shizu-cha what are you doing?

Holding him, Shizuo Heiwajima, the beast that had held eternal hatred for him was the only thing that saved him from a painful fall. He could depend on something even worse.

There was an explosion of emotions in Shizuo's mind ever since he saw Izaya stopped a few inches from falling to certain death, and when he fell his heart thumped. After pushing the girl aside, he ran to take the black-haired's hand, depending on a rusty antenna to which he clung with his spare hand.

"I've been following you since I accidentally overheard your conversation in the park."

"I didn't think that the beast was one of those who spied on other people ..." Izaya commented but not receiving a continuous response "Did you think that what I said was real? And you followed me to see my death and laugh, that's what you're trying to do to say."

"No, I don't know why I was following you. I just did."

"Well, I was not going to commit suicide, but since we are here and your greatest wish is that I die ... go ahead, put all your strength and crash into the pavement!"

"I won't" Shizuo refused "Izaya I think I don't want you to die. When I heard you, I felt very strange and all those strange feelings led me here. I think I don't want you to die I ... I ..."

Shizuo himself did not know why he followed him there? Did you want to see Izaya die? probably ... he can't kill Orihara. That feeling again.

"Izaya I think I like you" She explained as if her voice was being forced to blurt out the words "I don't know, you need this, I need you. The two of us complement each other and I don't know what I would do without you, I think."

"Shizu-cha wants to give me your love?" Izaya was not in his boxes at the time. It was fun, the beast Ikebukuro, with whom he had always fought, was declaring itself to him. Of course I would never believe him.

"No ... I don't understand what you do to me ..." He took a breath and exhaled. It was too early, he felt very confused. He could not think that loving the flea overnight was impossible.

_What was I thinking?_

Shizuo had never loved anyone like that, he couldn't come and say he loved him. I was confusing him. It was fun that she blamed her sexual discharges on the black-haired man.

"Yes." Izaya replied bluntly.

"I don't understand" he said since he hadn't asked him anything. He finished climbing Izaya and waited for the boy to dust himself off.

Sophia was long gone, that divorce probably won't go so well.

"You would never understand why you are a stupid beast."

"So all right" he asked, extending his hand to agree.

"Are you an idiot? My yes means that if I accept your feelings and I want to reciprocate" He explained without expression.

"You plead in a hideous manner."

"NO BETTER HOW YOU DO IT YOUR IDIOT ...!" He claimed staying on par with the bartender.

"It doesn't have to be different from what we've been doing"

"I never wanted that to be common, not sex"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not thinking clearly" answers the informant, but the truth is that that answer was only his best way of preventing the bartender from delving deeper.

They both fell uncomfortable. They didn't know what would happen next. Not even the first time they went to bed did they speak, it just happened and was repeated.

Shizuo did not know how, but from that day on, the one with hazel eyes changed from being his rival to his addiction.


	9. Letter ... 5

Today we put another even stronger treatment, I hope it doesn't hurt so much. You know it's illogical, you have anemia, and yet they still draw blood from your body. According to examine, I do not understand.

~~I feel so cloying, talking to you like a Hibiya waiting for her maid.~~

I'm getting bored, do you understand? The streets were never as desolate as these days, apparently we are the ones who give life to all of Ikebukuro ... on second thought ... you are the only one who makes life interesting, SERIOUSLY! I think it's your plans to manipulate people by checking the reactions, it's bad, but Ikebukuro would not be Ikebukuro without you ... to be honest, if I imagined a world without you before but all my illusions ended up as everyone charged me and saying that I was the best record to my strength.

And they would accept me as I am, I did want it, I asked for the acceptance of others. OUT OF FEAR THEY LOVE SHIZUO HEIWAJIMA.

You know, I think that a person like you is already known to suffer from this damn disease that leaves you in this state, you are a stupid flea if you did it to annoy me, now you just need to say "The world does not revolve around you, shizu -cha "yes, sometimes I take things very personal but it just doesn't make sense AND I DON'T THINK IT'S ABOUT MY DELAY, WHICH DOESN'T UNDERSTAND YOUR REASONS TO DO THIS! I know, you should have already known that you had anemia, but what I don't understand is why did you let it spread? Why the person who stopped me smoking for our health did not give.

UNCONSCIOUS YOU ARE STILL AN BOTHER!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be with lemon!  
> I don't consider myself an expert at it so please be good.


	10. Bored

It was a quiet morning, a Saturday. The informant was on his computers trying to find a prey, a person to control as his puppet and he the puppeteer. A young aspiring actress who has been rejected since she started in the franchise; a perfect victim to his boredom, he began to write to her. 3 hours since they started the conversation and he was already falling asleep; It seemed that the young woman had 0 social activity forcing her to continue the "good and you" with a "good, what are you doing?"

**HOW BORED**

"How many days has it been since Shizuo confessed to me?" The informant wondered. Four days had already passed since that event. They had already had a few nights of lust before, I loved how wild and rough his beast was but I never considered it much beyond pleasure; however that kiss that was not even on the lips.

They weren't fighting anymore, Izaya hadn't even set out to visit the areas that the blond man often mentioned, after what happened. Namie was the one doing most of those deliveries.

Hey that's unfair!

He jumped up and took his razor; I put it in my pocket and left the apartment.

Once in the streets, he saw no movement, not even the gang members were eager to take part in their games. He went from rooftop to rooftop, until he reached the route that today was the turn of the UPS beast! but what a mistake. Unconsciously he had gone in search of the blond, it was best to stay up if he did not want to be smelled. Unfortunately when the beast passed I noticed how its head did not stop turning from one side to the other, a sign of having perceived its aroma, damn quality cologne, why are you so effective? The black-haired man did not expect that the blonde would look up so he leaned a little more to spy on him but that day luck was not on his side the hated / beloved beast looked at the sky and among those high-rise apartments he found the flea.

Eagerly Izaya expected some expression of annoyance, fury or one of his common reactions when seeing him but it was the opposite, the blonde gave him a slight smile and continued on his way.

Flushed and confused, Izaya decided to go downstairs and went back to his apartment but received a message from Shizuo, one that just reading it made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

Flea, could you come to my apartment at 3 pm, I want to give you something.

He closed the cover of the cell phone and went to his apartment wanted, for some reason, to look good when he saw his beast. Arriving. He looked at himself in the mirror and, when he was going to take the brush to comb his hair, he recalculated the previous situation as if it were a lot of science.

"WHY SHOULD I GET READY TO SEE SHIZU-CHA IF I ALWAYS LOOK GOOD"

And so he threw away the brush. She went to the computer, 9 am was six hours to 3 pm, she had time to chat for a while in the groups until she went to Shizuo's apartment. I look at the conversation he had with the actress and HOLA! His girl answered the "What are you doing".

Nothing and you?

**HOW BORED**

Boredom took hold, causing little questions to cross between his thoughts. Everything started to seem strange to him. Did Shizuo think they were a couple? Why did you want me to come to your house? Then some quite perverted ideas crossed her mind, it was something common in their relationship when they fought to the death they ended up devouring each other in bed. It was normal for him to ask ... was it? He had never asked for it before, he simply claimed for his body until he destroyed it and he loved it but this time it seemed different.

_Why had he agreed to be Shizu-cha's couple?_

Pity

He was sure he wasn't planning to do anything, yet the blonde's feelings were of no use to him for now. He knew he could feel something more than hate, without Shizuo his life would not have fun, he would have been king of the world if he did not know him but that was, but there was the predictable against the ... unpredictable? He liked that, he liked that he was so different from the gray masses that surrounded him.

The hour of truth had come. He tried to be the most expressionless in the world but please! It was about the great Izaya who always carries a childish and sadistic expression, he could not act differently, he was prepared for anything and to anything he meant ANYTHING. If Shizu-cha wanted to have relationships or that they will spend the whole night talking without fights or anything, he would do it without any double meaning, he would only follow his impulse, without plans or strategies only one afternoon with his enemy.

Upon arrival, he knocked on the door, which was opened a few seconds later. The beast and the flea met face to face. Neither of them was able to articulate a word. The honey ojis took advantage of being intoxicated by the sensations that those slant hazel eyes gave him.

The house of the beast could not be compared to any of Izaya's apartments not even the one that had cost him the least. Perhaps, if they moved the bottles and arranged the thrown clothes it could be a little more presentable. The blonde approached, interrupting his mental criticism of homes, handed him a package wrapped in a red bow. He has bought a sweet, he thought, recognizing the design outside.

"It's an anniversary gift," said the ex-bartender a bit embarrassed.

"It's not our anniversary, it's only been 4 days or are you celebrating your last day of abstinence" Izaya attacked, holding the urge to explode with laughter at how ridiculous his beast was.

"I know" he said blushing as he couldn't, ignoring the minor's last words "but since you were missing these days I thought a gift for you would be an excuse for you to come."

Izaya looked at him confused, his mind was blank, he did not look for the meaning, he only tried to get out of the charm of that look. I pull the ribbon on the gift to open it and see what was inside. It was a strawberry cake, I knew that.

"What's wrong? You don't like it?" I ask. He didn't know what his flea liked, he just discovered what it really meant to be an informant.

"I'm not a fan of sweets."

Shizuo avoided meeting their gaze, 4 days ago he saw him eat something with the smell of caramel, it must have been caramel, right? The atmosphere was uncomfortable. The blonde didn't know how to react to such a demotivating response. He took the package containing the cake in his hands, took out one of the strawberries covered in cream, appreciating the bittersweet flavor.

"What are you planning bastard" Izaya snorted as he immediately understood what Shizuo wanted to do.

"Hm?" he questioned misplaced. The beast hadn't noticed the provocative way he was holding the fruit "What do you think?"

"I didn't know that Shizu-cha was so sweet" he laughs but he remembered what he had promised himself before, he was going to do everything without question. So then he could ask the beast to kill himself and the other would have no choice but to do it would be ... a day like any other.

Then I already had a plan or the introduction of the plan, whatever it was, it was progress.

The informant, determined, approached and together his lips with those of the ex-bartender, placed his teeth on the free side of the strawberry and, together, they split it in half. Izaya quickly separated and looked up to meet a blushing blond, is this what couples do?

He took the jet from the waist and began his outburst for the lips of the child trying to break through. Its flavor is sweet. The beast was trying to control itself, trying to keep its strength at bay so as not to cause harm as it did on other occasions.

"Shizu-cha ..." the jet whispered in a tender way.

On instinct, Shizuo closed his eyes waiting for Izaya's razor. He closed them as tightly as possible, staying like that for a long time but nothing happened. He opened his eyes in fear. There was his flea opening its mouth as wide as it could. Which seemed the most adorable to the blond while saying Aaah!

"Flea, you don't have to open it so much if it's just for a kiss" he laughed looking at those eyes dazzling with the low light.

The informant closed his mouth a little. Her sight was covered by so much lust. He did not hold back so he went to kiss him introducing his tongue. He was restless, it was the first time that they did not go directly to penetration. He opened his eyes trying to see the older man's expression, but he also seemed nervous is not exciting at all. As he calmed down, he went back to concentrating on her mouth.

Shizuo tried to accommodate his body by lifting it a few inches off the ground, holding it even closer. The brunette entwined his legs around the blond's hips and wrapped his warm arms around his neck, intensifying the kiss. The two of them ended up falling to the ground, more than Shizuo's little strength in carrying Izaya's body was to be even more comfortable.

They stopped for lack of air. His breaths were rough. Shizuo observed the body of his enemy, from the head to the end of the torso, he had seen it so many times and until now he realized how thin the flea was.

"This is ... different" he stressed between gasps.

Izaya didn't reply. Entre closed his eyes and looked away. I did not know the answer, in the end everything would end as the other times they did.

They changed position. Shizuo laid Izaya on the floor. He distributed kisses down the neck of the minor being interrupted by the hairs of the jacket that made him tickle. That jacket that was once an obstacle was gone.

"Shizu-cha! For this ... Nihg! ... it's strange." The jet asked him to stop but such requests turned into gasps. His whitish skin turned reddish with each pacifier he left in his path.

"Flea I can't stop now. I want to make you mine" Shizuo commented, caressing the hazel-eyed man's belly which caused him a strange but not unknown sensation.

They both wanted the same thing, they wanted to become one, no word was needed to know a glance was enough for them. They parted to remove their clothes. The ex-bartender threw away the shoes, the blonde more desperate than jet because he wanted to have time to help his flea take off his suits. At first he did not understand but immediately placed his leg on the blonde's shoulder. He was raising his pants a little until he finished with the exposed thigh of his enemy.

"Nhig ... ah ah Shizu-cha ..." he moaned as he felt his beast's lips touch one of the most sensitive areas of his body.

Shizuo looked up in search of Izaya's face being interrupted by the tent that formed between the black-haired boxers. I end up lowering that excess garment. He brought his hands to the erect member of the minor, it was not the first time he touched it and he was glad to know that it would not be the last. The flea moans with each caress it gives, letting out a drop of pre-semen.

"Ahg ... Nhg ... leave it" he begged the black-haired man, trying to hold his breath.

"Don't hold back ... I know you enjoy it I always knew."

"You are a bastard Shizu-Nihg ... cha"

From the limb he descended to his feet, knowing that he could receive a strong kick for brushing that weak and ticklish area of the sole of the foot. Izaya did laugh as he expected but it was different with his touch of forced laughter.

"What's wrong?"

"Shizu-cha is under my feet" Izaya whispered mockingly.

"Soon you will be the one below me" he said comparing the same tone of voice of his flea. Izaya did not respond but his blush spoke more than a thousand words.

He rose again to his chest, removing the long-sleeved shirt from his body, exposing his chest and stomach. Those pink nipples that he has highlighted by the light tone of his skin controlled his mind, he wanted to lick those buttons.

"I don't know how you do it but with your body I could control many more than with your words" he whispered thinking that Izaya hadn't heard him.

"Beast" he replied clicking his tongue avoiding the older man's gaze.

At last he accomplished his task, he took the pink buttons between his teeth, biting.

"Shi-Shizuo ... Nigh ah! ... uff"

"Damn Izaya" was the only thing he said stopping to look at whoever called him by name.

"I'm going to help you undress" said the jet taking this opportunity to push the older man's chest positioning himself on his lap.

"I-Izaya ... are you okay with this?" he asked referring to the proposal to be an official couple, he was tired of sex, he wanted something more sentimental.

"I don't know" They seemed to be the jet's first sincere words in a long time in mocking silence.

There was no longer a shirt that would hold Izaya from touching his beast. There never was, there was never a shirt that contained his feelings, it was only him. Shizuo pitch-black had stopped. He leaned his back a little and raised his head to see what was happening, in that, he listens to sobs. He sees Izaya's face, it was gloomy and the forehead locks hid his gaze.

"Izaya?" He brought a hand to the face of the black-haired man, caressed his cheek, drying with one of his fingers the rebellious tears that flowed "why are you crying?"

"I don't know ..." he replied repeating his previous words "I hate myself for not having the strength to say that I love you Shizu-cha."

"But if you already said it" after those words Izaya could not hold back his tears, leaving himself exposed to the ex-bartender. The blonde settled down a bit and kissed him, at first it was a sweet touch that intensified.

"I want all those reactions of yours to be only mine, I don't want you to be that sincere with anyone else" he asked, letting a slight but perceptible growl escape his lips.

"Hahha ... Shizu-cha is afraid of losing me. I've never been with someone other than you."

The named was perplexed but reacted instantly when he saw how his flea approached his neck. He felt his fangs penetrate his skin and then the liquid crimson traveled up his chest. They both gave each other a mischievous smile. Shizuo took the informant's arm to lift him off the cold ground, leading him directly to what he assumed was the blonde's room.

"Izaya ... Nhig ... I can't stand it" Shizuo warned pointing his hard crotch.

They both fell onto the bed, one more eager than the other. Izaya already knew what to do from the beginning. He positioned himself in front of Shizuo leaving his entrance exposed. Shizuo accepted the invitation by lubricating his fingers with saliva in order to introduce one of them, letting it slide through the narrow hole, it was very easy and not at all pleasant for the child, it was uncomfortable if it was. It was not, but, until the second finger broke through, and the moans were not left over.

"Ahg ... Shizu-cha don't stop ..." asked the minor after getting used to that strange initial feeling, they could have done it hundreds of times but he would never get used to the feeling of being a usurper in his own body.

He pulled out both fingers, exchanging them for his member in a strong and painful, but no less exciting thrust.

"Aaaah! Nhig ..." It was the only thing that came out of the minor's lips, for a moment he had forgotten how tough the beast was, just for a moment.

"He has already entered completely" he warned, stroking the informant's jet black hair, waiting for him to give him a signal to continue with his task.

"Ca-Can you move Shizu-cha"

"As I ordered" he gave a small tap on the smooth and quality cavity remembering what made him crazy, why Izaya had it in the palm of his hand. He needed to get it even deeper, he wanted it all, but he had to calm down, it had to be different from the routine.

"Shizuo, don't hold back ... tear me apart"

And so they sealed the request with a kiss that prevented the gasps of both enemies from being heard. Each one of the thrusts was more ferocious than the last, Shizuo had let out the true beast a beast that asked with grunts and bites for the body of its prey.

It was a very pleasant and burning sensation, they could call him a masochist for wanting blood but that act was what was necessary to bring out the best and worst of himself until he reached the limit. Every time Shizuo hit his sweet spot, he contracted his internal muscles with the need to feel him closer and closer, stronger and stronger, more and more brutal.

"I-I'm coming" they both yelled in unison as if they were programmed to do so. Shizuo took a few last thrusts and came inside the black-haired man

The room was disgusting, you could smell the nauseating aroma of sex. They had not even gotten up to bathe but, at once, fell into Morpheus's arms. Izaya looked at his beast, coincidentally he was always the first to get up and the first to leave, this time it wouldn't be like that. He looked at her calm and expressionless face that occasionally frowned followed by a movement of her legs and arms. He lay back on the bed with his back to the older man trying to pretend to be asleep for when the beast wakes up. He wake up.

**BORED**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not very good at writing this kind of scene but I tried. I hope you enjoyed it!


	11. Letter ... 6

Today Delic and Hibiya came to visit you. I don't know how they broke into your state, it's only been three days. Shinra says it is probably because of that invisible link that joins them or that they have twitter and they saw the video of us.

Before leaving he handed me a sheet with the lyrics of a song she wrote, although it is not as good as Psyche, the effort is recognized.

I cannot understand your lack of empathy towards them, I know they were not made with your permission but it is not their fault they did not ask to be created 100% In favor of life! If you took the time to get to know them, you would notice that they are very nice. Most of them sing karaoke although I have only heard Psyche, Delic and Hibiya sing.

Speaking of music, do you remember the time we tried to sing? I think the song was Matryoshka, I asked Shinra not to publish it which was very embarrassing but as you can see he did not listen. Every time I listen to it, I end up sunk in its lyrics, imagining that those words are not just the lyrics of a programmed song but are directly from your heart.

True! Hibiya's song (I'll just write what I like about it) ... it goes something like this:

_Every day is wonderful_

_You abandon all your strength and_

_you are still alive_

_And since you will forget about me_

_As soon as the time comes_

_when you wake up,_

_I'll go see you_.

It is the part that I like the most of the song, besides that I have noticed a slight reaction on your part every time that verse is played.

Tomorrow I will go to your apartment to find you clothes and tell your secretary that she will have a few days off. I hope I don't have to tour every residence you own.


	12. File sent

**Present:**

It was a hot Sunday morning, a good day to spend with friends on the beach or in bed in front of the fan with nothing else to do; in this case it is the second option since Shinjukun's informant was in bed like the previous four days after having unconsciously lost, a difference from this, other affected people who will pass at work. Luckily, his blonde companion also took advantage of the incident to ask for this day as a free day. It would be romantic if he said what he did to spend the whole morning and afternoon lying down but he was a busy man, they had to go find the clothes of a certain "vegetable" and notify the secretary of their temporary vacation.

He was going to get up, he had to, but at what cost ... Izaya could wait another day or two with the same rags is not as if he could complain, and the assistant; He himself would inform Izaya, once he woke up, of the overtime that the woman worked. Yes, today I was going to relax. Unfortunately, there is never anything left but the envious man who longs to corrupt the calm.

"Shizuo!" The illegal doctor shouted in his respective uniform of his profession, _It is that this man does not rest_. "I know it's your day off and everything but ... if I have to go to work, you still have to do something."

He abruptly looks away causing a certain brunette to get angry with this one. _If I can not stay in bed hugging my Celty he will not either_, Shinra was when he recorded a past success, so fleeting and so well successful that he could not fail, he simply knew it would work on the first try, he had already had it before and the results they were always effective.

"I'll have to go to work while you stay there lounging" he surrendered, attracting the suspicious look of the beast to his person "but before, I had a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot of heat and I want to eat something cold but sweet. I think there is a pudding in the refrigerator. I'll go get it" he concluded and then escaped from the room.

At the beginning, Shizuo repeated "it's just a pudding, I can buy another one" but then those thoughts changed to "but if it's the one with my name, I don't think I'll catch it, also definitely if it has my name, you'll know it's me, BUT I AM TALKING ABOUT SHINRA! "Angrily jumped out of bed. It didn't take long for him to put on his pants and shoes. Run like a soul that leads the devil to finish in the refrigerator door, open it.

There is no pudding. . .

He looked out the window for the illegal doctor. He saw it was mounted on Celty's motorcycle clinging to the body of the motorcyclist, if he fixed he would lose it. I COULD NOT ALLOW IT. He take a breath. And he shout: "SHIN-RAAAAAA !!!"

All the passers-by turned in search of the beast, they all knew that that deafening scream was not just any scream it was a scream of hatred a scream specifically dedicated to one of the most challenging rivals of the beast but not today. Of course, he did not lose anything in his search, but who knew that this would fall from the skies measuring its strength so as not to create the new great cannon in its fall. They will stay, all those who were barely crossing will be paralyzed with the fear of having been crushed. He went to Shira and Celty grabbing him by the shirt lifting him off the ground.

"THAT PUDDING WAS MINE ?!" Shizuo reproached in a childish way, causing a tremendous grace to the brunette who with a gesture asked the dullahan to return the pudding.

"L-Look on the bright side. You got up, you already have a pudding breakfast a-and you're on the street."

He released the brunette. He snatched the pudding from Celty's hands and turned to enter the apartment again, leaving the couple disappointed in the ex-bartender's aptitude.

"《Shizuo. You can't stay in bed all day. Izaya needs clean clothes and I know you just want to be with him but you can't be like this all the time" Celty typed showing the agenda to a certain depressed blonde. He rolled his eyes wearily and accepted.

"Ay Celty you always know what to say in times of crisis" the brunette praised excitedly trying to hug his beloved but she stops him with one of her shadows "Shizuo I have to go now, don't throw more tantrums."

And so they got lost followed by a patrol. He took a look at the building and then left with the pudding in hand, but when detailing it, he noticed that it did not have his name engraved but that of a certain flea that one day wanted to get ready at the end that pudding ended up being forgotten in the refrigerator until now. The memory of that day brought the beast back to heart.

He came to the closest apartment of the three he had. Take out the ring with the different keys. I was hoping I would be lucky to see the secretary or some clothes. Opened with the key painted sky blue. He immediately fell back between his steps as he collided with a long-haired woman who was holding a butter knife in front of him. She is the assistant, I had seen her before in Shinra meetings but had never had time to speak to her.

"Etto ... Izaya is not at home Shizuo Heiwajima, if you come for him" she informed changing his position for a more relaxed one.

"I wanted ..."

"Also, what is Orihara's enemy doing looking for him in his own apartment without having broken the door before" she asked, Shizuo would never stop by a door and more if it is that of his greatest enemy. She doubted, it took five days without seeing him, none of Shiki's people came to inform her of his disappearance, she supposed that after a month she could consider him dead. Until he was "What are you doing with his keys?"

"... Izaya ..."

"You know what? You better not tell me anything, I don't want to know what you two are up to" she said avoiding her own question.

"I came to tell you that the flea has given you a vacation because ... he got sick, he doesn't have anything about whether they would be paid or not."

"And why has he sent you among so many" she murmured even though the beast wasn't able to hear her "forget it ... I'll have more time to see Seiji ~" she gasped with both hands on her face and then left.

That girl did need a vacation away from the informant, it was already starting to affect him.

It was not the first time he had visited his partner's apartment. Each and every one of them have something in common, the large windows that show all the streets in the area. He approached one of the red couches in front of the book shelves, it was almost an obligation to have it if the owner of the space was Izaya. He recorded his nights in that same house. Up. The rooms were on the top floor.

He opened the first room, it was the same as the last time it was, Namie had probably taken care of keeping it in order for his return. He went to the closet, there are three sets of shirt and pants; the typical of every day. Look at one of the deliveries of it, there are six interiors, puma and some black anklets. He takes everything he found and throws it to bed, now see where he would keep it.

He lays down on the gigantic double bed, he had not realized that Izaya's apartment had air conditioning, it was refreshing. Where can you get a bag? A suitcase or a sack, he would rather avoid suitcases or sacks, he would not want to find a body and be charged with murder. He had never seen Izaya carry a bag...

FROGY !!

He jumped from the bed to the floor. Izaya's sisters came the other time to stay to sleep for one of Kasuka's films that would be shot near the area, far from the place they rented. They had a frog-shaped backpack which they forgot, if Izaya had no contact with the world this year, the bag should still be in the joint room.

Before opening the door, he was stopped by a melody that came from inside the room. A cell phone? radio? He finished opening the door and couldn't believe how much the room had changed. The bed was non-existent, the floor had lots of cables varying between black and red, in the center three computer screens lit each with a different image and in front a keyboard. This was not where the twins slept.

And frogy?

His steps were careful, he did not know what purpose all those cables had but he could not afford to destroy them either. He reached one of the free zones, in front of the screens. The first one that he considered taking a look at was the left, what attracted him to it was a chat that was shown on the screen.

_You will pay what you did to our boss, you will see when we see you on the street you wish you had not been born.

_Haha! They think you can get me. I have my ways of going unnoticed, new clothes, different attitude, are so gross that I don't even have to make an effort.

_I hope you already know what clothes you are going to wear when you do the wake.

It was not a secret for all the enemies Izaya had, he was part of the list. It was a year ago, he did not go out to the streets for all that time, his flea was afraid and he did not know it. So his absence was not lost to the altereg but because of his dispute with whoever PinkeiPie409 was.

Again the melody of a while ago began, this time I was close to him, very close. He turned to the center screen, there was nothing that caught his attention or that was what he thought the first time he saw it, but he was wrong. A bubble appeared was one of that avatars of the chats was personalized with a huge smile and headphones. I press her, almost instinctively, assuming it would be another death threat but it wasn't ...

**《Downloaded file》**

**.**

**《File sent》**

A blinding light has come out of the screen followed by a deafening beep forced to leave the room, it was a painful sensation for his eyes and ears, he could not stand there anymore.

From outside the room you can hear the heartbreaking sound of the alarm, you had to leave immediately if you didn't want to end up deaf. He took all the clothes in his hand and leaves the apartment, another day he would be in charge of looking for frogy. It was not normal, I knew he was not a computer expert but what had happened is not something that I could call normal. An information protection alarm, perhaps. It wasn't impossible but if he needed an invasion alarm it would have sounded long before the file was sent.

Izaya should come back, should come back to explain everything.


	13. Letter ... 7

You won't know but yesterday UFS! yes it was hot. You were lucky to lie back and do nothing, it was your lucky day. Although if you were passed in one of your departments it would be more than good. I can't believe you're giving the poor fan a chance, how you can tell you're not conscious.

Hey!

If I went to your department. I ran into your secretary, I think she was in the kitchen... I couldn't tell but I guessed it when they pointed a common knife at me, the people you hire...

  
~~I'M NOT JEALOUS~~

YOU MEET PEOPLE LIKE YOU

THAT'S

And ... I also read one of your conversations that you had open on the computer, I say it at once because in person I know that I will end up hitting you in the face. Now yes, I know that you are an informant and that you constantly receive these types of threats but you do not think that saying "Different clothes and new attitude" is a bit VERY detailed for someone who wants to run away from their bullies.

All that about not dating for a year, is it because of them?

I do not get it.

And I sent a file. A virus? I just tapped a chat bubble and this thing downloaded and an alarm went off, I didn't understand anything. You should check it and use headphones before entering. I have a bad feeling when I think about it.

Do you remember Frogy? Of course you must remember. Yesterday I looked for him in what was the twins' room, what did you do to that room? It is not the shadow of what it should be. Computer stuff, was what I thought, but why do you need so many screens? I'm happy with having my cell phone intact.

I was talking about the frog, you didn't tell me you returned them, how do I know? That girl with glasses who sometimes visits where Shinra mentioned them once, apparently they study at our old high school. I told them about your current state and my suspicions about your disappearance for a year, but they replied that a few months ago they had not seen you since you returned them to frog. Before classes started, they hinted that they would visit you when they remembered that they have a brother.

According to Celty they will come. There is no other way, you will have to wait for the next letter to know if they came or not.


	14. A rainy day

It had been a tiring day for both alternates. All they wanted was to lie on the bed and stay that way for the rest of their lives. They didn't try, no, they didn't want to get up or move. A night of passion? no, they preferred to be together admiring the stars until the sun returned.

What had he been doing all morning to be so exhausted?

Tsugaru accompanied Tsuki with her daily purchase of specific sweets in red colors, not much. It was impossible to go out with the one with the scarf, I could not lose sight of him because he got into trouble, being the last of them it was almost predictable that his personality would focus on clumsiness and distraction adding a touch of tenderness for his fear and kindness.

On the other hand Psyche was taking revenge on those cheeky ones who sold "candy" to Tsuki the last time he got distracted from the usual way to the candy store. He covered his ears with the headphones, the melody that came from them was soft as a lullaby to sleep. How much those men wish they had listened to her. Boiling blood ran from their eardrums, a relief for them was losing the ability to hear. Ecstatic they sighed in unison but they heard her again, it was not from outside, the boy in pink was not singing.

Where did the horrible melody come from?

It was from their heads, the melody had been etched in their memories, total torture. Again and again it was repeated like a broken record.

How to get rid of the horrible melody?

One of them, the largest, takes a pistol out of his jacket. They all look at it. What will they do? has found the solution to induced torture.

**BANG !!**

It was an unusual morning for both boys, but one thing was for sure, they would always go home together before dark. There were no words they simply shared the light touch of their joined hands; and that was enough for them. They had begged Tsuki not to leave his house tomorrow, they needed a day off without being babysitters for anyone, they could go out but only if he was accompanied by Roppi but NOT.

He raised both arms to the sky and welcomed the new day with open arms, in a good mood. I knew it, something told him that today would be a splendid day for both of them and he was not going to question it. He was going to go back to bed, Tsugaru was still sleeping which meant that there was no cooked food.

Now i was hungry.

He looked again at the blond, so cute. Her blonde hair fell like a waterfall hiding part of her eye, speaking of her eyes; They are so beautiful better if they are open, that celestial made him lose himself in a sea without waves, on top of a half-finished boat. Every time he fell into her he sank slowly and calmed, deep, deep until he drowned. It would never be so bad to disturb his calm, how well he did it himself.

"Good morning Psyche. Do you want to eat?" He asked sleepily, ending the charm, Psyche nods anxiously; His Tsugaru's breakfasts were one of the best "I'll make cereal with marshmallow" Although sometimes it is a bit lazy.

"Yes! And some strawberry meringues, please" he asked, hugging the older man. Tsugaru convinced he gives him a kiss, maybe he was pampering him, just a little.

You get out of bed, or that's what you plan to do once you stop losing yourself in a nonexistent point. He finished his assignment by peeling his butt off the cozy mattress. Psiche, who was much more spirited, goes to the windows to open the curtains wide. How he loved his traditional garden; With that big cherry tree by the entrance and the creek in a corner near the bamboo shoots, it's perfect.

"You want me to pack a basket for lunch and let's pretend we're in the garden having a picnic" Tsugaru suggested seeing how little Psyche looked out of the window at the garden. Too bad it was raining.

"It would be a very adorable gesture Tsu, but no" he replied taking his headphones and laptop from the dresser.

He looked away from the garden and back to Psyche.

"Again?" It's all it says. He did not like that he shut himself up with his music alone, it was not bad for Psyche or Delic, they depend on those melodies to survive unlike other people prone to experiencing hallucinogenic sensations with risk of a stroke. The problem arose when it began to download programs beyond those previously indicated by Shinra, it was when the danger of downloading a malicious virus lurked.

"Don't worry Tsugaru, I don't have memory space; I couldn't download music even if I wanted to" Psyche reported carelessly, she had already experienced what it was like to receive a virus; and it wasn't as big a deal as Tsugaru made it sound.

"It's a relief ..."

"Yes ... and tomorrow I'll go to the store to buy another one, I can't live on the same notes Tsu" the minor commented without taking his eyes off the blond, if he was worried about anything "Don't worry! As long as the main source is fine, I'm not something worse than mild discomfort will happen. "

And that's how he left the shared room opening a kind of portal, you could barely make out a whitish light emanating from it and nothing else, exactly what was a blank space without walls or ties.

Tsugaru was not satisfied with the answer, but he must have been by force, he could let it go as he always did and cry out. If only it didn't rain I'd take a break under the cherry tree, if only it didn't rain.

He presses on his headphones, letting the music paint the room with its melodies, each one was different from the previous one and that does not mean that it lost its own beauty. He loved that blank canvas that was his rest room, he loved how he could capture everything and nothing in it due to the psychedelic melodies of which he was intoxicated day after day.

The minutes turned into hours, with each new melody a new world opened up, new colors, new sensations. He does not identify himself as an isolated person, he loved all the friends there are to meet, he loved his "brothers", he loved everything good and bad in the world and he loved love.

How sad to love a world that cannot be loved by you...

His song could **NEVER** be heard

Your melody **NEVER** needs to be recited

His eyes close, and the blood runs, runs, runs ...

His song could **NEVER** be heard

Your melody **NEVER** needs to be recited

He wanted to convey his love, to calm the beasts of the heart, with his words that expressed love. unfortunately it was always the same.

His song could **NEVER** be heard

Your melody **NEVER** needs to be recited

How many died for him? Hundreds? Thousands? ... A kingdom?

**(Do you want to download?)**

**Document and setti_ ***

**(X) 7**

"Hm? ... What is this? ... there is no sender, I can't find it registered in the archives either" He clicked several times but the result was the same "Will it be an update, Shinra's page registered a new song? "

He accepted without questioning the origin of the file even knowing that he did not have much space to delete some songs that he already knew. While I was erasing I waited patiently for it to finish downloading but it was absolutely heavy, 30 of his songs have already been erased and I barely reached 2% completion to reach 100%.

 **PAF**!

"Hears!" Psyche complains when he is interrupted by his partner who pulls the laptop screen without delicacy and ends up closing it.

"Breakfast is ready Psyche. Let's eat" he ordered without waiting for an answer instead he dragged the boy in pink by the arm.

Once in the dining room, after blessing the food as Shinra taught them, they started a corner. Psyche kept quiet all breakfast worrying Tsugaru, she couldn't help but get angry that she interrupted him when he was in his personal space like a few minutes ago.

Will the file download correctly? No, we had to delete more songs. He looked angrily at the blonde in front of him. _It was because of you and your poor breakfast ... no, it was because of your clumsy_ brothers_ yesterday bought my memory and not to delete my songs.

"Psy ..."

They both looked at each other, Tsugaru had been interrupted; The black-haired man noticed it but did not insist that it end, he knew the mayor so much that he knew that once he was interrupted, he could not attempt to speak again. Psyche got up from the chair leaving the dirty dishes to the blonde while he went to answer the call.

They both looked at each other, Tsugaru had been interrupted; the black-haired man noticed it but did not insist that it end, he knew him well enough to know that once he is interrupted he would not be able to speak again. Psyche got up from the chair leaving the dirty dishes to the blonde while he went to answer the call.

Hi who speaks?

I am outraged that after so many moments together you still don't have me scheduled

Hi HIBIYA, is something wrong?

What did you not find out?

Of what? Or what?

We will go in between a while to visit Izaya at Shinra's house ...

Izaya ?! Since when did you guys become best friends?

You really don't know what happened ?!

Every word that came out of that device was so incredible. Izaya in a coma at risk of death? There, at that precise moment, is when he realizes that his life depends on another person. He spoke of feelings and hatred, impediments and possibilities but he had forgotten his true existence, he was not a human or something like Celty, he is an experiment that had to be isolated from the human presence. What she called life was not, her house is not a home, her boyfriend ... she did not choose it, her memories never happened.

No.

if they happened ...

He earned Hibiya and Delic's fear and hatred ...

He fell in love with Tsugaru ...

Why did i have these thoughts

Those thoughts are not his, they never changed those feelings. What were they? If they are yours? NO, Psyche is happy, Psyche is feelings. Get back on the line.

You know what? I understand better if it is in person, I will go there in a few minutes.

He said the latter and then left a Psyche with the phone in his hands without any idea of what was happening behind the line, only being answered by the last beep of the call when he was hung up.

"Who was?" Tsugaru asked poking part of her body through the door.

"Hibiya. He said he would come to tell us something extremely important."

"I believe you, otherwise I would not come here with this rain" clarified recorded the first and, he supposed, the last time that the beginning visited them.

"I think his aberration is not due to the fact that we live in a land, it is probably my fault for that accident the first time we met ... Nhg!" He groaned in prayer. Look at where the previous discomfort occurred: a broomstick.

"Sorry, it was not my intention to throw it in your face" Tsugaru pointed out, taking the cleaning utensil again "Come on."

The doorbell rang. Psyche is the first to reach the door and open it followed by Tsugaru. When he opened, he found Hibiya wearing a yellow raincoat, some mud boots; It was a bit of a casual outfit for the prince but understandably over the top it used to be. It was a relief to know that Delic also accompanied him with a more passable touch, an umbrella.

"Psyche" Hibiya greeted giving a slight bow before entering.

"Tell me did you make lunch or again you waited for us" Delic said mockingly before entering.

"Tell me did you make lunch or again you waited for us" Delic said mockingly before entering.

"YES! Tsugaru was inspired today, he made some very VERY tender rice bears and the sausage was cut so that it is a pulpit and the ju ... !!"

"Shhh ... I'm already getting hungry" He whispers removing his finger from the minor's lips and, although the scene was a bit flirtatious, Psyche was more than blushing and furious at being interrupted.

Tsugaru, after receiving the guests, goes to the kitchen in search of the dishes for lunch. The four of them sat down at the table, each next to their respective partner.

"This time if you showed off Tsugaru, we could come more" praised the blonde at the beginning, taking the cutlery to attack his delicious food, however he was interrupted by the jet.

"You think this is a good time for that."

"Hey Hibiya, Delic already knows what we're going to talk about we don't want to bore him with the same thing" Tsugaru commented a bit embarrassed "Delic can you go to a corner in our room until we finish."

"Perfect, lunch in bed and with television. I'm going to stay and live with you guys" he concluded taking his plate and leaving the room.

From there, the three of us present, we heard the boy's sudden footsteps, the door being looped and the ceramic falling to the floor. Tsugaru knew what that noise meant, tiredly stamping his head on the table knowing that they had to clean up the mess Delic made on his bed and his newly polished floor.

"Hibiya ..."

"I ... Izaya, he is very serious, right now he is in Shinra's home in a vegetable state, and the exact reason why is not known", he started directly without detours or gossip, leaving those present speechless. Psyche already knew it, or half understood it in the previous call, however she did not feel the uncertainty of that moment.

"How is Shizuo?" Tsugaru asked knowing the couple's strange relationship; It was not surprising to suppose that the blame was the blond's bluntness.

"He's taking it easy, although I'm worried about his mental health ... he's making letters, LETTERS" he whispered as if it were the strangest thing in the world "I feel sorry for him but no more than for ourselves. If Izaya were to die? What will become of us? "

"That means you could disappear ..."

"I asked Shinra but he doesn't give me a good answer, the only thing left is to continue with the treatments and wait for something to happen."

"Why do I have to carry on with that crap if we ARE GOING TO DIE anyway !!" Hit the table with your fist.

"Psyche, it's not good that every time something happens to you, you go away and lock yourself in your world," he scolded, preventing him from opening the door.

"I'll go buy the memory I told you, please let me" He slips away and turning the knob on the front door, he leaves.


	15. Letter ... 8

I'm annoying, annoying, annoying, annoying  
Iwant to kill, kill, kill, kill, kill  
 ~~DAMN!!~~

Some immigrants cornered Psyche. He had left the house alone, almost at dusk. I crossed it on my route with TOm-san. He was going to buy something for his computer, I honestly did not understand him, he did not want i company so I let him go alone, but when I saw him again he was surrounded by some screaming guys with weird accents. It was so, so traumatic. Once I reacted, it was too late.

I regret not having finished with that plague. And although I always say it out loud I would NEVER kill anyone, here we are, mutual hatred, strange love. But you ... I'm sure your hands have gotten dirty more than once, either directly or indirectly, I ask you how do they feel?

Call from a strange device to Tsugaru, apparently they do not have a physical home; it is an illusion formed by a portal using a pantallblablabla... Celty made them a house with her powers. Anyway, if you wanted to contact them, it should be through celty. I made the mention to Tsugaru that Psyche had been hit.

I must say that Psyche is not pretty at all, and due to your condition, her improvement is not working as it should. Shinra can solve it but it will be difficult, very dangerous for him and for everyone who approaches the room assigned to him. According to, his condition is stabilized with a strange musical drug, lethal to anyone who is not part of the PsycheDelic nor Celty can stand it.

Shinra couldn't be more complicated in creating these guys.

I had to go to that strange dimension, home of Tsugaru and Psyche, let me tell you that once inside it is like any traditional style house; the portal had disappeared along with the city (Shinra's house) everything was limited to a meadow. Tsugaru told me that if I go along the path that was formed from the entrance of his house to the green grass, keeping in mind the direction where I want to go, the portal will take me without Celty having to interfere. Psyche used it for his convenience and created a room just for him.

We did the same thing I had to do with you, we took clothes and some records that Shinra had given a Psyche. I didn't have time to check that mysterious room, Tsugaru said that we already had everything.

Should I suggest Tsugaru writing letters?


	16. The pudding trial

What a horrible day Celty had to go through. She could not even take a break and get off her motorcycle, first the officers again chased her as if she were the only one who ignores traffic laws. It occurred to him that he had to cross the city to receive a package, take it downtown, give the package and receive an exchange for a new package that was received by his initial client, unfortunately the package was a trap and now he had to return the first package. So many packages were driving her crazy and for the record the annoying patrol kept chasing her, getting in the way of her work.

Your wish?

He wanted to go home, take a long, hot shower, then lay back on the couch along with the annoying but cute Shinra and watch one of Kasuka's highest-grossing movies. It was perfect and calm, just what she needed.

She turns to see if they were still chasing her, fortunately it was not like that, today she was able to go straight home. Just a few meters from the apartment, he saw how a sofa flies from the building "Oh! Shizuo is in the area" and continued with his handling.

ONE MINUTE

That sofa has the same shape and color as yours, what a coincidence.

Hold it

That sofa was coming from his apartment, it's probably Shizuo.

WAIT

That couch came out of his floor.

As if reason hit him in the face that he didn't have. Celty starts her motorcycle, letting her horse's whinny escape. Upon arriving at his apartment, he knew that that wish was not going to be fulfilled, starting with the loss of the furniture. The furniture ... where are the happy furniture? that she knows only one had flown away.

All his beautiful and comfortable living room had been destroyed, there was only a fallen table and three wooden chairs that he had never seen in his life but apparently they were going to be his new furniture. The chairs formed a triangle and at the top sitting behind the Shinra table, in the center Shizuo; who maintains his pose from having carried something heavy and to his right was Izaya sitting without paying much attention to the "small" show.

《But what have they done with the department? SHINRA》 Celty was enraged up to the table "facing" Shinra.

Instinctively he embraces her, his beloved had arrived and he had to receive her with open arms, even if that meant ignoring what the dullahan showed him on her mobile, he still had an idea that it would be written.

She wanted to hit him and push him away as usual but she didn't, as they say: the body is more sincere than words and she if she wanted to be hugged, how much punishment could she give her Shinra? I had enough punishment with putting up with the odd pair of rivals.

Celty tries to crawl up to her room with the illegal doctor hanging from her back like an ugly monkey. The boys raised their hands in greeting but without looking at him, it was for the best. He goes to his room, one of the last, once inside Shinra decides to let go of the grip and start the explanation.

"Oh! My dear Celty, excuse me for letting them make a mess in your living room. Izaya assured me that he would pay for all expenses incurred by Shizuo once he calmed down."

《And did you trust him?》 She wrote erasing it before Shinra could read it, sometimes forgetting how carefree Shinra could be when it came to that pair 《Eh ... Why are they here? Neither of them is hurt badly enough to say that they came to compose themselves from one of their usual fights, and I suppose that the guests have not been invited either, or have they?》 

"You are absolutely right Celty!" He praised "They came on their own, or to tell the truth Shizuo was the one who came dragging Izaya by the hand."

She did not answer. It was strange, Shizuo would never take Izaya by the hand even if it was a bet, correction, he would never take Izaya anywhere with him. What are you hiding Heiwajima Shizuo?

"Yes, it seems strange to me to see them together too, I must admit that they have taken me back in time; specifically to my days in high school. When the teachers reached their tolerance limit, I would take a ribbon and wrap their hands. with the warning that if he broke it they would call his parents, Shizuo's mother was more than once hahahaha ... "

She looked at the boy with glasses, she also remembered Shinra's student stage; mostly his own demands for the boy to relate and, hopefully then, get a girlfriend. He would not know how to say it, as time went by he became fond of the clandestine doctor but there was also the problem of his friends. He never had a girlfriend, he never stopped thinking about Celty but if it hadn't been for herself and that idea of getting rid of the boy, she would never have met Izaya. Was it his fault? Was Izaya in their lives all their fault?

"Both had an active sexual relationship."

WHAT?!

《Where did that come from?!》

"AH! JHAHA, I shouldn't have said anything ..." he whispered, scratching the back of his neck desperately "BUT I HAD TO TELL SOMEONE, I knew it. Well, yes, I knew they both had a great sexual tension but I assumed it was for having met Erika and ... "

《Is that why they're here?》 She typed desperately.

The doctor jumps, surprised by the intensity with which he had shown the cell phone. "NO, do you think I have knowledge in bed?"

《You're supposed to be a doctor, you should know something, or so Shizuo might have thought》

"I am a clandestine doctor, I take care of people's health illegally. I am not a sexologist, it is not my branch, Izaya knows it" he defended crossing his arms, so long together and she still did not understand his profession "It was not as you think... "

"Hey, Shizuo-kun, Izaya, may I know what you do in my humble home?" He asked after opening the door. It was not surprising that they came to visit him, perhaps they had a fight although, on those occasions, one always came first and the other much later, but never together.

"Where is Celty?"

"Neee! Shizu-chan, but what manners do you have" Izaya complained, freeing himself from the hold he was holding with the blonde, had they been holding hands all this time?

Shinra finished closing the door, knowing that once inside they would not come out until they did their job. He positioned himself on his little kitchen island looking at the rivals who were keeping a considerable distance unlike how they arrived.

"Seriously, what has happened Shizuo?" He asked again. Shizuo, in response, takes a plastic bag out of his pocket and places it on the small table. If he was correct, that embace could have been one of the blonde's puddings, for which he made so much drama.

"This jerk has eaten my pudding" he concluded with a frown so frowning that you could believe that the problem wasn't about pudding.

Shinra didn't know what to say, he was aware of his friend's great addiction to that sweet, but he would never believe that he could surpass himself enough to bring Izaya all the way (which was not short) to his residence. What does not live near a pharmacy? I could go buy another pudding.

He looked through his wallet, he was not a fan of sweets, which made it difficult to know the exact amount of pudding, he took out four bills estimating that it would not go beyond that or what could be left over to buy cigarettes. He offered the money to the ex-bartender without thinking that he would be brutally rejected.

"This is not about money but about principles, Shinra."

"You can hear it Shizu-cha, you're being an annoying beast for nothing, even Shinra supports me" Izaya exclaimed annoyed by the accusations "Also, how do you know that this pudding was yours? It doesn't have your name."

"That pudding ... IT WAS IN MY HOUSE, IN MY FRIDGE, AND THEREFORE IT BELONGED TO ME!"

"And it was nameless."

Shizuo glared at him, getting up from the sofa. Izaya laughed at the man's attitude, but that didn't mean he would just sit there, no. Both of them, standing, gave each other looks of hatred muttering under their teeth almost as similar as the snarls of two beasts.

"Moment, Moment, A MOMENT" The brunette intervenes trying to separate them both with a push, specifically making Izaya take a few steps away "What was Izaya doing in your apartment?"

They were silent after what the doctor asked. Shizuo frowned even more, looking away and returning to his seat.

"Are you still taking pictures of him while he sleeps ?! Before you ask, Simon told me" Shinra countered towards Izaya but received no response, he knew it could be something private; a symptom of his rare obsession.

Shizuo looked at him, wondering if that was true but still didn't comment. However, after a short time, he decided to speak: "I ..."

"We were fucking."

The blonde looked surprised. So much so that, at first, I would swear that the voice came from someone outside the room but very quickly I came to understand that the only one capable of saying such vulgarity was neither more nor less than IZAYA.

"You guys had ..." Shinra couldn't look away from both boys, not to mention Shizuo who was the most expressive. His flushed face was a work mixing the euphoria of the moment with his usual anger, the chestnut's body trembled with fear just looking at him.

"Sex? What did we do love? I call it more a desire for the carnal."

"S-Damn IzaYAAAA ..." He got up from the couch. He walked up to Izaya but did nothing, absolutely nothing. He had to unleash all his fury, he had to hit, he had to hit and what he wanted was to bite. He lifted the furniture where he had been sitting, without force, it was not enough, this type of cheap furniture was very light for what he needed. He threw the furniture out the window, it wasn't enough, then another, and another, and another.

_《_ _And what about those chairs that form a triangle?_ _》_

Shinra worried _If he continues with this he won't have a home for Celty to come back_, he tries to persuade Shizuo before he throws the last, but not least, couch.

"No no no no. We can fix the pudding problem another way!"

"Get away Shinra."

"MOMENTOOOO!" He screamed, standing on tiptoe; trying to block the way with his skinny body. There is a way, let's make a judgment.

《But Shizuo did throw away the furniture

"The session is open. Let the plaintiff come to the stand, please" Shinra announced, slapping his hand against the table, making himself the idea of carrying a mallet "Name and profession witness."

"Heiwajima Shizuo, bodyguard of a debt collector" he replied, standing in the center of the triangle.

Excited by the blond's contribution, he couldn't help but compare the current situation with the ace attorney game he had just played not more than a week ago.

Considering how little Shizuo had told him, he tried to extract a little more information from him, leading to the setting where the events occurred.

"You and the defendant spent the night together, is that true?"

"I-I refuse to testify of ... that" he yelled which made Shinra angry for preventing the progress of the trial.

"You can't."

"W-WHAT ?!"

"That is to say...". He quickly remembered who he was talking to, he had to put his fanaticism aside "the accused had got up first leaving you behind, which can be considered an alibi for you" Without receiving a protest from the lawyer (basically the accused himself) decides to continue " According to the records of your card; the last time you bought at the supermarket was two months ago (You thanked the lawyer for having entered the system without any complaint), despite this, you have saved the last pudding of your package. right? "

"Yes, I hadn't gone home shopping in a long time, due to my job which takes part of my morning, noon and night allowing me my three necessary meals on allotted breaks" Shizuo seemed to be understanding the game, that or He had already been brought to trial other times for Izaya's false accusations, it is most likely that this was the case since, unlike the black-haired man who had not said a word, he was very cooperative.

Izaya gets up from his seat and crossed his arms he yelled: "PROTEST." the other two looked at him surprised by his way of stopping Shizuo's statement "The witness has confirmed that he lacks the necessary conditions to have visitors and even so I do not hesitate to take me knowing the risk involved. His work is a good excuse but What about me? I am a person who enjoys homemade food and, although I could have eaten in the street, his beloved witness cornered me before I knew how the night would end. Because of this, I find myself fasting, almost malnourished. "

"As if a pudding was going to fill you up" Shinra muttered, getting out of character for a few seconds.

"What did your honor say?" He smiled lopsidedly, perhaps and loved him more when he was quiet.

"PROTEST your honor" Shizuo interrupts receiving a shout of excitement from Shinra "You could have gone like you always do or even run away before that. It's not like it was the first time you got up before me."

"Witness, this information is not among the files that have been given to the court" he complained when he was out of the discussion, he knew very well the little contribution from the blond if it was his nights of passion but if he went to give him only the crumbs of the gossip better not be told.

"The information was unnecessary ... until now."

"PROTEST! You are accusing me of not staying in your bed more often Shizu-cha, I didn't know that you wanted me sentimentally" he laughed blowing kisses in the air "Anyway, that doesn't change the fact that I was starving . "

"It was my pudding, you don't have the right to appropriate it."

"Without a name there is no owner, and I can prove that with the test" He goes to the kitchen taking something out of the fridge, it was a pudding, and places it on the table "as you can see, the plastic is in perfect condition, without any difference to an ordinary unopened one, how could I know? "

"Hey! That's from Celty, how did you know she was there?" muttered the judge, taking the sample in his arms.

Shizuo continued with his insistence: "YOU WERE AT MY HOUSE, THAT WAS MY PUDDING!"

"Are you a stupid brainless beast or don't you know how to say anything else?"

"Shinra" called the blond, knowing that such vocabulary was a penalty for the lawyer.

Izaya looked at Shinra who couldn't keep up the excitement of seeing his friends faking judgment, and much better if they included him. However Izaya was ahead of him: "I withdraw what I said, however I maintain my defense. I did not have any sign that would warn me of a presumed owner of such a candy, not counting my lack of food."

"Mr. Heiwajima, you have to be aware that the evidence and defense of the accused are very well structured; you will have to show us a new evidence in addition to" IT WAS MY HOUSE, IN MY FRIDGE, AND THEREFORE IT WAS MINE "to take into account your word."

"Really Shinra ?!"

"I suppose that if you drop the charges against the defendant and you withdraw, if you want with this new pudding. We can forget it" and so he decides to end the trial, with everyone agreeing with the decision given by the judge or so he thought ...

When Shizuo was going to take the pudding to leave. Izaya is ahead of him, taking the plastic bag in his hands.

"Since here you do whatever you want, I'm going to do it too" From his pocket he takes out a black marker, and looking at Shizuo with a smile from side to side he begins to write "YA! The pudding is mine . "

Shizuo looked at him, he looked at him in a chilling way hiding his eyes with his bangs. And so we end; to what the living room is now, the fallen table, the last piece of furniture anywhere but in his apartment.

《Shinra, nothing has been heard for a long time》 Celty informed, for a few minutes he had witnessed it but he guessed that, due to the already broken glass, nothing would be heard once any object or an Izaya was thrown.

"Do you think they had their coffee?"

immediately the girl takes up the agenda again, tapping gently until she shows him the message.

"He had no other options, I assumed that once he got to the kitchen he would be thirsty and have a drink before leaving us without those furniture.

Celty opens the door, still a little angry at the solution the doctor had thought but still letting it pass; it was humanity against Shizuo. However, when crossing the room, there was no one or the dying bodies of the boys, apparently they had chosen to go to argue in a more open space before letting the couple sleep on the floor.

"Celty, there is something here" he points out, taking from the floor of the entrance a note, taken from any notebook and written in it to tear off the page "it is a note from Izaya."

《I think that sometimes if you have to take his word for it》 he wrote before taking the card that the informant had left them, said comment was never shown leaving for himself what he thought of the black-haired man.


	17. Letter ... 9

Do you remember Roppi?

Perhaps not, it is the quietest of the three altereg. The one that most resembles you do you remember him?

Doesn't matter, it will surely be there for you once you wake up and you will recognize it. It will not be necessary to describe it to you, it will not be necessary to poin it out,he will be there for you and support you... i know, he would, if not for...

WHAT THE FUCK YOU DID THIS TIME IZAYA

I just mentioned you and he turned pale.

Why would he do it with your name?

Tsuki was aware of your state, I don't know how but I felt she knew, her reaction when she hugged Roppi was not like Delic's, so I thought she did. He did not move away, even being the asocial, he did not push me or anything like that; That does not mean that it corresponded to me but the one who left with me; it was comforting.

I needed a hug...

Why did they come? Tsugaru was the one with the idea, or basically he used the visit as an excuse not to have to take care of Tsuki. For my part I had completely forgotten about them, except for Delic and Hibiya ... no, lie, I also forgot about them. Shinra was the one who told them about what happened with Psyche but not because he cared about the boys, it was obvious that he wanted Delic to take care of putting and removing the music from Psyche's room because this idiot has lost the headphones that I use specifically for him or another human when he created PsycheDelic, Delic being the only avenue of contact we had.

I had my chance to speak to Roppi, if what we did rotten to be considered a conversation. You could see that he was worried about Psyche, he raised his eyebrows a little more than usual when he saw him, they were worried. But when I told him about you, and I opened your bedroom door for him, he SCREAMED.

It was not a cry of fear or fright, he did not do it when he saw Psyche which shocked everyone by his unusual impression. First he yelled, obviously I just mentioned it, second he saw you again; back then we weren't the only ones in the room, third smiled, so cold, looking at your state so finished, and said that ... that since today, I have not been able to forget.

_What will you do now?_

And so his smile just faded. He looked at us, all of us, reverting to his typical emotionless demeanor. He had discovered something that none of us could see before, and so he did not continue his celebration. He had seen in seconds what I could not in a whole month.

_What will you do now, Izaya?_


	18. What did you, Izaya Orihara?

_"Suicide?"_

Roppi understood, was aware of all Izaya's accumulated hatred towards them and still let it happen. He was supposed to be the reason, the one with a calculating mind. He was not as naive as his "brothers", or so he wanted to believe. However, he was also exposed to being vulnerable and one of the weakest altereg.

He knew Izaya even though words were never exchanged because he, unlike the others, could distinguish between his memories and his own. And precisely that gave him the advantage to be cautious before any movement he made. However, the brain is usually a labyrinth and sometimes it managed to fool him, so much was the impact that he could barely distinguish between his first encounter with Tsuki (at Shinra's house) and the Tsuki from Izaya's memories (in middle school).

 _"You're supposed to be my depression, you hate yourself, you hate them, you hate me. You are what dies with pills"_ Take Roppi's wrists by rolling up their sleeves to the elbows exposing the cuts without healing _"and that's when everything changes to a Psyche but... when they don't work... you use him."_

However, he didn't know for sure, were they his memories? Was it Izaya's? That night was always confusing to him and he tried not to remember it, on the other hand Izaya seems to continually resort to it.

That day, that day that he felt so much pain.

Tsuki, who had always been kind and loving, that very day was not. There the confusion begins. He was sweaty or had fallen into a well who knows? He didn't remember the chase they surely had before being cornered by the blonde, what he did know was that he was wet but it was obvious.

It seemed funny to him that he was the only one aware of what happened that night. Why? According to Tsuki, that night he had drunk excessive amounts of alcohol (it was not Tsuki) and did not remember anything after leaving the bar. Tsuki would never lie but, if what he said was true, why did that keep repeating itself?

He could have escaped down the stairs, he wasn't so cornered, but he didn't. Why was he running? and continue with the game, it made no sense. That man in front of him was not Tsuki, at least not one aware of what he was doing. A beast in sheep's clothing surrounded by a completely blind gray herd.

He would show them how dangerous Tsuki was, his corpse scarred by the claws of a beast would be enough proof to delight the masses. No... he is not concerned with humanity...

To him who cared that people lived in ignorance.

Clearly this was from Izaya.

And he was licking it. He lowered his tongue along the length of the man who was squeezing him hard but not enough to pull his hair out. She was getting too carried away, so much so that she had closed her eyes and changed the environment: her hair being almost pulled out changed to a delicate caress, the alley was now her room and what was once a low blow became a request.

This is what Izaya was referring to, when the pills did not work he resorted to a fantasy that never happened, a false scenario where the blows would never reach his body and that man loves him. No, he must have shown her reality.

He was not good enough at this, neither his hand, nor his teeth were enough and he already wanted to vomit but he should continue, tonight could be his only chance to get what he wanted. Finally Tsu... Shizuo stops, uncovers his face of complete disappointment, maybe he had done it wrong.

He take it roughly by the waist making it clear who that memory belonged to. Shizuo was rude and made him cry but he put up with it because he hated him, a different feeling from the one he felt for his humans. Why can't I love you like the rest? It hurt, it burned but she tolerated it because she loved it and if, to have it, she would have to suffer, she would suffer but she would never regret it...

His nasal cavity was flooded with a metallic odor; it was painful but also pleasant and made him hungry. The sweat began to drip, the pain was palpable but I didn't know where it was coming from. Was it a new skill, could I feel its memories? It would be simpler to answer if you could open your eyes and see but it was very difficult.

He could see the face of his rapist, if that is what he can be called. Izaya, unlike him, wanted this, no, not even the great Orihara wanted this but that's the way things turned out and he had to accept it if he wanted something more than fights. Was there no other way to achieve it? Shizuo never, in each and every one of those nights, did he show a bit of empathy towards him, making sure he was drugged enough with that heat not to have to explain anything.

How did you do it Izaya?

How did you get Shizuo to love you...

He was never with you, the only thing that came close to your delusional fantasies was us. Shizuo never loved you, he would never care about you. So why do you hate us? We are the represents of your wishes, I don't believe you, that you were dating Shizuo when you discovered us, I don't think so. You are despicable, and disgusting, so human... and yet i let you pass.

_"Y-you... WHAT DID YOU TO ROPPI?!"_

It's Tsuki's voice, he came home. But he sounds angry, oh no... I got carried away by Izaya.

_"Why... NO, I-I'm sorry, I mean NO! Please leave before I tell Shinra..."_

Shinra?

What is he going to do for me? If it weren't for Tsuki I wouldn't exist, it's all thanks to Tsuki... I hate Shinra, the same one who once created me wanted to destroy me just like Izaya.

It's not my fault that I tried to kill myself, it's not like I wanted to be like that I had no choice and Tsuki knows it. It's all Shinra's fault, and instead of accepting his mistake and dealing with the phenomenon to which he gave life, he decides to end it.

_"He is not mentally stable, it would be best to leave him like that"_

~~_Broken_~~...

I opened my eyes. I remember Tsuki's voice but couldn't find it. Next to the main door a black mass had its back to me, my sight affected me or this was another memory. I tried to get closer or at least look at who it was. Little by little, everything began to turn colors, the dough took shape but what I saw was not pleasant at all.

Izaya was being pinned against the wall, being lifted up by an extraordinary force that prevented his feet from touching the ground SHIZUO! Why he was in my house? He doesn't know that if he murders him I will die too? My reaction is immediate, I run to stop him.

_"Stop Shizuo"_

I clung to the arm that was carrying Izaya. He didn't answer and neither did he pull his hand away. I tried to move it, I knew it was useless but I tried, the only thing I got was that it intensified the grip, I felt like needed the air more and more. I couldn't stop it, that was all...

_"Your dolls..."_

Exhausted I dropped to the ground brushing my throat, I felt the obstruction that the beast exerted even if it was not directly on my neck. I saw at my wrists, izaya hadn't undone her sleeve, so I had a look clear blood. I hadn't realized it before, one of the wounds had to have opened sometime between the sofa until I went to Shizuo.

I took a deep breath, my hands were shaking. Incredulous i looked towards Shizuo but wasn't it Shizuo, _"T-Tsuki?"_ Izaya's hand was clenched, and you could barely see the small sharp point stained with blood.

What did you now?


	19. Letter ... 10

We are fine, I correct, the only ones who are not unconscious, we are fine. It is a damn annoyance to wait by your bedside with nothing else to do, you must wake up, you have to wake up soon, I am not blaming you for anything but ... I do believe that you have something to do with much of everything. has happened to us. But I do not know how. Since you are unconscious I have not had a minute of rest, you bother me without even moving.

Those weird threats, your reserved behavior, the psyche attack ... and the constant lack of sleep, makes me wonder how it was that before that night I could have hated you. Something is going to happen, and I can't stop it ... stop you. ARE YOU?

My instinct warns me, it's bad, it's bad, it's bad ...

You did something, something that has gone beyond me, I can't stop you, I just have to wait. I do not understand you. I will never understand you, not a small part of me understands you, which makes me fear you _"You are a beast, unpredictable compared to a human"_ but somehow I always knew what you would do even if I did not understand you, but now you found the way to persuade me.

~~I am a fool~~

Shinra has also been confused and insists that none of this has to do with him so he plans to take a vacation with Celty. Speaking of Shinra, she has asked Delic to go back to Psyche and Tsugaru's house, to get her laptop. Do you know where her laptop is? So is! in his secret room.

You don't know how much I want to see that room inside, but they already left.


	20. No more pain

Being his first time to wake up, after having gotten into a fight, he thought that it would hurt much less than the blow had been, however it did not. He was unable to think about the possibility of getting up, his muscles immediately tense from the pain even though he was not take moved. Turning his head was a goal that he was not yet ready to cross. Why did it hurt so much?

The ceiling, the ceiling was the only clue to him to identify where you are. It is white. He tries to remember which places he had seen with the same faded covering. His room? Hibiya Castle? Shinra's lab? Its blank? He definitely knew those places, Kidnapping ?! No, he was too comfortable to be a kidnapping; Aside from the throbbing muscle pain he didn't seem to have been chained or tied up but what could he know of a kidnapper's methods, his only confinement had been with Shinra.

"Hmmm... hmp...!!"

Well, no strings attached. Not that it mattered either to render him immobile, but they wouldn't know.

If I had another view with which to know where it is.

**THE MUSIC**

I had not noticed it before but there is music, his music. He would recognize her from anywhere. She was warm, so soft that he could carry him into her, but she was too low. The melody was supposed to enliven their senses as Shinra said: "some are cured with minerals, others with medicine but in your case music is the best solution"; his melody made the pain disappear releasing him from the growing agony. Yet it still hurt.

He was calmer, the only one who knew how to help him recover was Shinra. He was at Shinra's house, but for how long? he remembered the hit, but nothing beyond that. He should show up for the routine checkup at any time.

He would have to sacrifice his vegetative state if he wanted to recover. The music must come from a nearby device, capable of increasing the volume to the maximum, he could endure the pain if he managed to recover with it.

Move him neck slightly. Dropping him head to her right side, and with it the initial painful outburst increased to the point where his screams tore at her throat. Was it worth it? He asked himself without daring to open his eyelids, he could not bear the pain that he would submit if he had taken the wrong side.

**A Turntable**

Was perfect, he would just have to lean over a bit to turn up the volume. He didn't even take the time to focus the pain on him. He impulsively raised his arm, searching for his target, causing the painful cracking of his joints. His hand had fallen next to his desk but he was not even close to the record player, he could not turn back if he did not manage to increase the music he would die.

He tried to lean his body past the bed allowing his arm to wander across the surface of the desk. Again a fit begged her body to go back to bed but she couldn't allow it, she was close or so she wanted to believe.

It was a wrong move, mixed by the bad position of her body and the palpable pain that would cause hims, he fell imminently to the ground, taking with her all the sheets and pencils that were on the desk. It was impossible to describe the pain she was feeling, not even the cozy cold of the floor could soothe her wounds.

**He had given up.**

**His death was already written on paper.**

It was what he believed when he saw so many leaves fall with him, he would die among the papers that would mark his deathbed. Most of them were already scrawled with the words announcing his death, or not?

He glanced out of the corner of his eye at one of the written sheets that had been crushed by his head. He could barely recognize the handwriting, Tsugaru.

He unconsciously formed a weak smile.

.................. I It hurts to see you suffering.

.............. Delic is the one who takes care of your care

..........Don't think that I don't

...............Behind the door

.................who hurt you?

.............. you are Strong Psyche

Those words, although he could not read them the way he wanted, could be understood how little he saw, gave back the courage to return to the record player and turn up the volume. But first, he tries to take one of the blank pages and with his non-dominant hand scribbles the name of his aggressor, the only one who could have caused him this pain.

He rises from the floor with his legs staggering, his body was a magnet that would soon stop against the tiles but stopping all predictions he leans back from a chair and asks himself 'shouldn't he have gone to the door?' Too late, he couldn't turn back.

He takes the machine and turns it to its maximum giving a great explosion of sound.

He falls to the ground without warning expecting a cozy surface to cover him but he never made it. Blood dripped from his ears and his blood covered the blades.

**But he had his music**

**And That Means**

**no more pain.**

There was no pain...

There is no pain...

No more pain...


	21. Letter ... 11

You know what PsycheDelic are, you probably already know but I ... I just found out.

Apparently their name is not just a silly pun, they really are a sensory drug. Yes, I am a fool, it is obvious that they are, why another reason there is so much mystery in their music. It's a good thing, to know it, I would never be questioned if it were not for the music...

It's tall...

Bad...

It hurts my brain...

And we can not stand it...

It's a kind of psychosis truched by a demented, psyche is completely harmful to anyone, it controls minds, change your thinking, it destroys and kills you with music that you really can not.

It was smooth.

He was locked in the last room, at the end of the hall, Shinra and Celty's room. We can't go to the door, I can't reach the door.

Something has happened to Psyche, something happened to him inside her confinement AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS? !! I am so useless, I cannot, we cannot, do absolutely nothing and I don't like it, I don't like to feel that I can't ... Because I have always been able, my strength has always worked but this goes beyond strength.

DAMN IT WHERE THIS DELIC


End file.
